Hi SUMites,

Below is a prayer request from a community member.

This is a common concern that arises in many families and marriages: What do we do about church? I’m going to share her prayer request below, as she is seeking wisdom about changing churches. Specifically, she wants to know how to respond to her husband’s resistance to attending a more charismatic church.

However, I believe we can all learn from her request, as each of us faces challenges in our marriages related to church. After sharing her prayer request, I’ll offer my response. I would greatly appreciate your thoughts as well. God bless you, and have a wonderful week.
Love and hugs,
Lynn

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From M: I think I’m being called to a more charismatic church. Me and my family checked it out this last Sunday, me and my son loved it! My husband walked out to the lobby before the worship was over because the spirit manifesting was uncomfortable for him. I want to go back and so does my son. But my husband doesn’t want the kids there, it was just too much for him. I’m craving more closeness with the spirit and excited to see the spirit move. The church we’ve been going to is sleepy in my opinion. He said he will go with me to a “regular” church like that, but not a charismatic one. So, I need some direction. I don’t want to make my husband feel abandoned, but I don’t want to abandon myself and the Holy Spirit! Especially after my husband says that his faith level hasn’t changed since we started dating. And of course I want my kids to attend church.

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Response Lynn to M:

I hear the tension you’re carrying, and it makes sense. When the Holy Spirit has awakened hunger in your heart, it can feel painful when the people you love aren’t in the same place yet. But your desire for more of God is beautiful — and I understand completely. The Lord is stirring something in you, and He’s doing the same in your son. That matters.

At the same time, your husband’s discomfort is not something to ignore or push past. When someone hasn’t been taught about the gifts of the Spirit or hasn’t experienced His presence in that way, it can feel overwhelming and can make him angry or resentful. His reaction doesn’t mean he’s rejecting God — it means he encountered something he wasn’t prepared for. And that’s okay. The Holy Spirit never forces Himself on anyone.

Here’s the encouragement I want to give you:

You don’t have to abandon your hunger for the Spirit, and you don’t have to abandon your husband. The Lord will show you how to honor both.

Sometimes the path forward is not choosing one or the other, but allowing the Holy Spirit to gently shepherd your family at a pace your husband can handle. You can continue growing, learning, and experiencing more of the Spirit without creating fear or division at home. And you can trust God to draw your husband in ways you cannot. If your husband will attend the conservative church, with the kids, then go with him. But if there are Sunday’s or other events at the church you desire, attend then and when you can. Watch teaching on Youtube as it will greatly encourage you.

Your husband’s comment about his faith not changing since you started dating is actually a clue — he’s telling you where he is spiritually. That’s not a condemnation; it’s an invitation for prayer. The Holy Spirit is fully capable of awakening him, softening him, and preparing him for more. You don’t have to make that happen. Let God do this for you. You pray and believe.

For now, here are a few gentle steps:

• Keep your heart open to the Spirit. Don’t shut down your hunger.
• Pray for the Holy Spirit to prepare him, teach him, and draw him.
• Ask the Lord for wisdom about how your children can stay connected to church life without creating conflict.
• Trust that God is leading all of you, even if at different speeds.

You are not choosing between your marriage and the Holy Spirit. You are choosing to walk in love, patience, and discernment while the Spirit continues His work in your home. And He will. He is faithful to protect you from deception, and He is faithful to guide your family into truth without causing fracture.

I love you. Your faith and prayers matter so much. Don’t partner with discouragement and know that Jesus is with you every step of the way.

BIG hugs, Lynn