Kendra Leathen is a mental health counselor at Elite DNA Behavioral Health, where she works with individuals and families healing from trauma, addiction, and relational wounds. With a background in teaching and a Master of Science degree in Mental and Clinical Health Counseling from Palm Beach Atlantic University and Master of Arts in Theological studies from Liberty University, she is passionate about helping people break cycles of shame and rediscover their voice, identity, and worth. She is mother to an adult son who is currently attending Southeastern University and lives in Boynton Beach, South Florida. Kendra brings both lived experience and clinical insight to her writing and counseling. She enjoys meaningful conversations, music, time with family, and mango flavored smoothies. Her life verse is Jeremiah 29:11 — “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Hi Lynn,
Thank you for opening this conversation. As a mental health professional and a Christian wife who has experienced narcissistic abuse, I believe this topic is not only timely but deeply necessary—especially on platforms that seek marriage restoration.
I also want to acknowledge that you have been a part of this journey with me. During that period, your willingness to hold space for hard truths, to listen, and to encourage wisdom alongside faith has mattered more to me than you may have realized. Unintentionally, many well-meaning marriage restoration ministries overlook the reality that some spouses are trapped in dynamics with abusive partners who have significant personality disorders. Too often, believers—particularly women—are told to “just stay and pray,” without adequate recognition of ongoing emotional, psychological, spiritual, or physical harm.
I experienced this personally. I remained in an abusive marriage for years after being encouraged by seemingly well-intentioned pastors to stay, despite clear patterns of abuse, infidelity, and unfaithfulness to God. The impact was profound, and it required years of counseling, healing work, and spiritual restoration to untangle the damage caused—not only by the marriage itself, but by the spiritual minimization of abuse.
I also believe Christian women need to understand how trauma affects the brain and body. This is not simply about the question of staying or leaving a marriage—it is about health and, in some cases, life itself. Repeated exposure to lies, manipulation, fear, and emotional abuse activate chronic stress responses. Over time, this impacts brain functioning, nervous system regulation, and even the immune system. Trauma is not only spiritual or emotional; it is physiological. Prolonged abuse can weaken the body, increase anxiety and depression, and contribute to long-term health consequences.
When we frame these situations solely as a test of faith or endurance, we risk overlooking the very real psychological and biological toll. The Church must grow in its understanding of personality disorders, trauma, and the difference between sacrificial love and enabling harm. Faith should never be used to silence discernment or keep someone unsafe.
Thank you for your humility in inviting others to contribute and for creating space for honest dialogue. I truly believe this work can bring clarity, healing, and freedom to many who feel unseen or misunderstood in spiritually mismatched and emotionally unsafe relationships.
If you have found a portion of yourself in this story, please share with me. I will pray for you. Your sister in Faith, Kendra
REMINDER: The information shared in this series of posts, Healthy Relationships, is to add to our understanding of our relationships and with some specifics to marriage. The information I share has been vetted to the best of my ability. I may not have the full scope of practices or ministries of which I’ve obtained information or share.
Additionally, many post contain REAL LIFE experiences from our readers here at SUM. We will not judge or criticize anyone here for their experiences. We choose to love and we choose to learn. Because we will find ourselves and our friends within the process of these stories.
Please offer your thoughts and wisdom. We are all on a journey together. Blessings and hugs, Lynn Donovan
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