Spiritually Unequal Marriage

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What Happened to Sunday? The Kids Want to Know.

As a follow up to my last post…. What priorities are your children picking up from the way you are spending your Sundays? Do sports seem more important than relationship?…

As a follow up to my last post….

What priorities are your children picking up from the way you are spending your Sundays? Do sports seem more important than relationship? Does the yard appear to be more worthy of attention than they are? Is the day filled with chores? Arguing? All fun and no worship? More is caught than taught – what are your kids catching as the priority on the Sabbath?….. — Men Are Like Waffles Women Are Like Spaghetti

This is extremely challenging when living in a spiritually mismatched home. I can tell you I spent many a Sunday mornings in tears because of the stress of church. To attend or not to attend? Secretly hoping my husband would join me then crushed when the slug stayed in bed.

Pressuring my daughter to attend or coaxing her or demanding her attendance also accompanied the morning. I would arrive home after a wonderful worship experience and be as mean as a bear.

How do you navigate Sunday? Share your ideas. Be blessed, Lynn

Comments

8 responses

  1. Laurie Avatar
    Laurie

    A few years ago..we spent some time studying Shabbat. We celebrated Sabbath starting sundown Friday to Sundown Saturday. I loved it because it caused me to focus on “Preparation”. The Lord showed me through my husbands leading what Sabbath was all about. God showed me personally that it was really about the kingdom eternally prepared for us by a Savior who was longing to take us home to our eternal resting place with Him. As I did all my preparations on Thursday and early Friday so as not to do any work on the Sabbath, I was able to focus on the kingdom of God and what preparations I should take on a daily basis to enter into an eternal rest with a Holy Loving God. Our Sunday rest now, or for those who celebrate a Saturday rest can really glean from this question that you pose Lynn! What a great topic and a good time to examine what should take place on this day. I’m guilty of not always living what I had learned.
    I hope we get a chance some time to talk more about this..it is so dear to my heart.. I can’t wait to read the replies from your readers. 🙂
    Love and blessings,
    laurie

    Reply
  2. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Oh, I can so identify with what you described. I hated it. I realized it boiled down to one thing. I was the one trying to be in control. When I turned it over to God and trusted, and I mean really trusted, Him with the outcome, things became much more peaceful. And God has rewarded my trust. My oldest recommitted her life to Christ, on her own. My youngest will now actually tell me she NEEDS to go to church.
    The rest of the day, I try to relax, maybe finish up my Bible study for Monday morning if I’m not done. That’s a touch area for a mismatched home, but that book’s right, more is caught than taught.

    Reply
  3. Diane Avatar
    Diane

    I sure hope it’s o.k. that I put your blog on my side-bar! You have an amazing ministry happening here in cyberspace!
    While my husband is a believer, we have a prodigal in our family (hence the name of my blog “Partners in prayer for our prodigals”–it’s our adult son. The dynamics of that are certainly different than a marriage…however, I just feel so blessed with each visit..hope you don’t mind.
    Diane

    Reply
  4. Sharon Avatar
    Sharon

    Spiritually unequal families abound. Through much of my marriage I have been married to a believer who forgot Who is supposed to be on the throne. Things are better right now but he doesn’t get to worship with me on Sunday’s due to his work schedule (he is on a steady schedule where his days off are Mon-Tue). Anyway through the rough years, I tried to have a Christ-centered home inspite of his activities. Many times I wanted to just quit, give up, on everything including God. It was so frustrating trying to do it all and be it all for both of us…trying to be “christian” enough for both of us. Then I realized a very important fact. When I die and stand before God, I will stand alone. Only my life will be under review at that time. Not the life of my hubby or my son. Yes I still need to be a strong witness for both of them. But I am not soley and personally responsible for their individual spiritual condition. I know this is bit different for non-believing family members but I still think you approach Sunday the same way. Your sabboth rest and worship is between you and God. Keep the focus on Him and let Him do the rest.
    One thing is for sure…both my husband and my son know that if they bring me any issue, my response to them will be “take it to God.” Live for God and He will take care of the rest.
    (That may sound like platitudes but I have lived through a very difficult marriage and trying times with my now adult son. Without a solid and secure knowledge of our Lord, I would not be where I am today.)
    {{{{HUGS}}}}
    Sharon

    Reply
  5. connie Barris Avatar
    connie Barris

    I have a wonderful mentor that taught me that we each have our own Holy Spirit…. yea, well, I do try to be other’s HS at times.
    At one time, I thought my husband and college daughter needed an extra Holy Spirit…. the harder I tried, the harded they pulled away…
    I really am leading up to the whole rest thing on Sunday….
    So, my friend said to me, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink”
    Huh?
    “Unless you put salt in their oats”
    Ok… so I needed to basically QUIT being their Holy Spirit, let them go..give them to God… whatever you want to call it and let God be God…
    Wow, so now I can rest… and you know what, I rest on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday… and so on…
    there is no more tug of war.. and as far as Sunday? well let’s say, it is really a time of family and a time of love now….
    Blessings…
    Connie

    Reply
  6. ann_in_grace Avatar
    ann_in_grace

    I want to relate to this:
    “This is extremely challenging when living in a spiritually mismatched home. I can tell you I spent many a Sunday mornings in tears because of the stress of church. To attend or not to attend? Secretly hoping my husband would join me then crushed when the slug stayed in bed.”
    Well, my Sundays are not the days of sunshine anymore, looked upon from a secular perspective. I rejoice in going to church, in taking my sons with me (whenever possible – that is – when their father is asleep or at work), but homecomings are not nice. To come home to a man who is bitter and complaining that we left him alone and hungry (!!!) is like a cold shower after the wonderful fellowship with believers.
    My last Sunday homecoming resulted in quiet days until yesterday, and then the thing that made us both talk again was the death of a relative.
    I consider those Sundays my personal trials of faith, and trust in God to take me through them safely.
    Thank You for this post, Lynn.

    Reply
  7. Gretchen Hanna Avatar
    Gretchen Hanna

    Wow, what a great post and great comments from your readers.
    It IS so hard to wait on God, and yet, that’s what He’s asked me to do. I continue to pray for my husband’s salvation and relationship with Jesus, and I thank Him in advance for the salvation I know is coming. Not in my days, perhaps. Not in my timing, for sure!
    I take our children to church, and have for the last 6 years (when I recommitted). Some days, I can literally feel the spiritual warfare as my tension level rises–are the kids ready? Does he do anything to help? Couldn’t he just come once to hear me sing in the worship team w/o my asking? However, it’s like anything else. When I’m in tune with God, I see that He has given me a partner and best friend, whom I would not trade in the world. He’s given me a spouse who sees things differently than me, but who a)allows prayer at the table–and participates in the prayer respectfully, even though he doesn’t say “in Jesus’ name”
    b) supports my choir and worship and Bible study “extra-curricular” activities by trying to be home early/on-time so I can go c) gives me an opportunity to be gracious when things don’t go my way (e.g. going to Easter services alone was a bummer). When I choose to surrender and change my focus, I realize that there is so much to be grateful for, and, as Sharon noted above–I can only be responsible for myself when I see Him at the throne.
    I have spoken to my husband about the feeling of needing a sabbath at our house because we’re running, running, running. I told him it was my belief that I was required to have a sabbath, and so both of us are trying to take it easy more on that day. My day is devoted to God and taking it easy, and he’s devoted to sports, the family, and taking it easy. We’re making strides. Sorry for the long comment! Just got on a roll.

    Reply
  8. keri Avatar
    keri

    I’m just restating how important it is to give this to God. And by “this” I mean all the pain and disappointment and every discouraging emotion that plagues us on Sunday (and Wednesday). When I stopped nagging and begging my husband to go to church with us (the kids and me) I found that I had a much more spiritually fulfilling experience…at church and at home. I still “invite” him to go with us, but not every week.

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