Spiritually Unequal Marriage

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What A Response!

Lynn Donovan

Well….. WOW! It appears that exploring personality traits and difficulties is a topic of great interest. The overwhelming vote was “yes” to explore some challenging topics in relationships. I also…

Well….. WOW!

It appears that exploring personality traits and difficulties is a topic of great interest. The overwhelming vote was “yes” to explore some challenging topics in relationships. I also respect those of you who didn’t want to look at this aspect of relationships. And those who cautioned about labeling anyone with a negative personality title.

I respect that personalities, including ours, is under the influence of the spiritual realm, good and evil. And I also respect that labeling someone can release a word curse. I also respect the Many emails I received from you, our community members, that contained your real story of your experience with difficult or challenging personalities. My heart is torn over the pain and difficulty you have experienced. Truly

So, what do we do from here? I’m inclined to cautiously explore the very real challenges that many of us face. If not in our marriage, certainly in other areas of life such as work, church, social relationships.

I also believe it’s beneficial to understand these areas of our inner person in order to see ourselves first and then others in truth and through the lens of love. I believe the best view is through the lens of the love of God for people.

I will do my best to wade through this quagmire looking for Jesus in our search. The questions I want to explore are:

  1. What does a healthy adult relationship look like? How would we define a healthy person viewed through the lens of love and the Bible.
  2. How are personalities formed? In formation, what creates stable and healthy adults.
  3. How are personalities formed that lead to adult disorders and other quirks.
  4. What is disorder and what is a trait. A commentor helped me to see there is a difference. And how do we navigate these differences.
  5. How do we balance psychology’s view and the Biblical view in our management of our relationships?
  6. Honest discussion of narcissism, which is overly diagnosed. So right off the bat I’ll tell you this label is greatly overused.
  7. I’ve been in this ministry for 20 years; I want to explore the common traits in marriages that I have seen year after year in my counseling. Such as alcoholism, ADHD, anger, pride, and more.
  8. I want to discuss emotional regulation and dysregulation.
  9. When should we take responsibility and when to understand we aren’t responsible.

Okay, does this sound like enough??? I’m already overwhelmed. I also want to caution… perhaps myself… that psychology only captures a portion of the overall picture. There is more going on that we realize. AND the power of God and our prayers ARE significant in our relationships.

So PLEASE be patient with me. I also have asked some of you, the readers, who have shared your personal stories, to share them with others here on the site. There is someone in a season of life who needs perspective and hope.

Email Lynn

AND I also caution ALL OF US. Do not judge. Refrain from criticizing anyone on this site. We are all learning and want to do the best we are able according to the Lord’s wisdom and direction.

Again…. DO NOT JUDGE… Another’s experience or story. This is a place of encouragement and hope. We are looking to supply honest content to help and love one another.

What questions do you think we should add to this discussion. Let me know in the comments. Blessings and love, Lynn

Lynn Donovan

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Comments

2 responses

  1. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    I think it’s wise to learn about the different types of personalities as well as my own. They not only help me to understand, but become aware and watchful of the areas I’m most likely to be prone to temptation … kind of like the 90/10 rule. God has blessed each of us with a unique mix of traits that I believe are meant to be reflections of His character (so our traits were originally created as good). Satan was originally good, but became corrupt. I think it’s the same for us. Our unique mix of traits were from God to give Him glory, but it’s the 10% of that part of us that is more prone to certain influences (temptations). I think of it like how the “filters” that hold us (mind & emotions) “in check” (from how we’re raised to God’s Spirit), to when the “filters are removed” when we choose to switch our focus away from God. The “brokenness” of our personalities is like everything else in creation since the fall…imperfect, and the curse is that our lives ARE a constant struggle until we are called home to Jesus. But as with everything else, we CAN overcome in Jesus. It’s the “thorns in our side” that we should not be upset or fearful, rather rejoice in! For God has given to each what He thinks is necessary to keep us humble and reliant upon God instead of ourselves. To be able to identify the traits we have within us is a glorious and encouraging revelation! It provided me great hope, joy, and healing because I new what “goodness” within me to FOCUS upon, cultivate, and express for God’s glory, and to become more watchful, strong, and quick to surrender to God when I’m tempted:)

    Reply
  2. Martha Bush Avatar
    Martha Bush

    I am looking forward to this series.

    Reply

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