Spiritually Unequal Marriage

Subscribe

Valentine’s Day … What To Do!

Lynn Donovan

It’s been a loooong while since I written about the practical life in a spiritually mismatched marriage. Today I would like to share a few thoughts of wisdom among us…

It’s been a loooong while since I written about the practical life in a spiritually mismatched marriage. Today I would like to share a few thoughts of wisdom among us believing spouses as Valentine’s Day is about to roll around (AGAIN).

In all transparency, I wish this day didn’t exist. Well, Kinda. It is wonderful when you are remembered by a spouse with flowers, dinner, chocolates, even a card. But there are many who aren’t remembered. Or should I say, we feel forgotten, unseen, unappreciated…… lonely…

Hurt.

This is true in marriages, for single people, widows and even children. We all need to know we are loved.

In our early years, Mike, would forget. He was newly married, busy at work, etc. It’s not an excuse to forget but that was reality. What I found that helped my hurting heart was to gently coach him.

“Hey,” I would timidly inquire, “It would be really great if you would send flowers to the bank next week on Valentine’s Day.”

He needed coaching. Yea, NOT VERY ROMANTIC. But I still appreciated the gesture. Mike was really bad about gift giving. Still today, after 33 years, he is STILL really bad about gift giving. I must tell him what to buy me for Christmas, birthdays etc. However, he is brilliant at buying cards.

He has given me the most beautiful words over the years of our marriage. THIS is what he does. He searches the cards for an hour, finding the perfect reflections of words that express his heart of love toward me. He can’t do it any other way.

But the words of the cards are thought-filled and authentic. He also takes time to write his thoughts in these cards. They are vulnerable and words I will never hear him speak to me.

Hmmmmmm, a truly beautiful gift. I just needed to stop comparing my V-day gifts with others. I needed to coach him a bit. Sometimes I have to take action. Such as buying the movie theater tickets and then tell him, “Mike, you are taking me to dinner and a movie this weekend.”

Buy yourself flowers. Buy a card. Send cards. Send me a card. Show your love to a stranger. Let Jesus love on you.

The greatest valentine was given to you. Bright red, hung on a tree, our Savior.

I love you my friends. Plan your V-day now. How do you coach your spouse? Share and help a girl out. Blessings and hugs, Lynn

Lynn Donovan

Meet the Author

Comments

3 responses

  1. Martha Bush Avatar
    Martha Bush

    My husband gave me such a sweet gift the other day that I must tell it. Briefly, I usually carry $50 to $100.00 in cash in my wallet for small purchases, such as a coke, when I am out shopping. I had run out of cash, and just didn’t bother to replenish it for a few weeks, yet I began to complain (I didn’t know Glen was listening) that I was craving hot apple pies from McDonalds when I passed by, and I refused to put $1.50 on my charge card. The other day, he came home with a gift card from McDonald’s—“now stop and get you a hot apple pie the next time you are out shopping.” I don’t know why that struck me as the sweetest thing he has ever given me, but it did. So, now, Lynn, I am wondering what I could suggest (out loud) for Valentine Day’s that might merit a much larger gift card. lol

    Reply
    1. Lynn Donovan Avatar
      Lynn Donovan

      This is awesome, my friend. I love that man so much. I love you too. Happy Valentine’s Day.

      Maybe I’ll suggest to Mike a McDonald’s gift card I think it’s so cute. God bless you, Martha.

      Reply
  2. Cathleen Rafalko Avatar
    Cathleen Rafalko

    GM from frigid icebergs in NJ. I think I sent you a card, Lynn, even before you mentioned it. 😆

    My mark is a lot like Mike. Needs plenty of coaching and support. Yet, I’ve learned, Over the years, it’s not personal and I accept how God made Mark. I see him encouraging our young adult children like never before and the three of them often call him more than me. And that’s a blessing to me! My boys are 20 and they need to hear from Dad. Mark is a man’s man- rough and tough on the outside yet soft and sensitive in the heart.
    I celebrate V Day by sending cards of love and encouragement to women I love ❤️

    For me V day is a sweet day of love, hearts and going to lunch / coffee with a dear sister or two.

    My dear friend Lu, from this community sent me a huge gift, packaged in red hearts! Inside I found an awesome spiraled journal with IS 59:11. And my new favorite coffee mug with psalm 46:10 on it. That’s enough for me!!!

    Love my church w/o walls here. It’s one of the only reasons I’m still standing, believing, trusting and loving 🙏✝️😊⛄️

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *