Spiritually Unequal Marriage

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Join Us  We are an amazing community of believers who love Jesus, love our unbelieving spouse, our family, and one another. We are united together by the two greatest directives: …

Join Us 

We are an amazing community of believers who love Jesus, love our unbelieving spouse, our family, and one another. We are united together by the two greatest directives: 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” ~Jesus Christ 

We love God and we love people. 

Our community is a place where we meet together to pause and breathe in hope. It’s a place where encouragement is perpetual and a place where we catch glimpses of God in the ordinary and the spectacular. It’s a home for those of us who become weary of the battles of life. It is a welcoming door we walk through for a brief respite where we sit with others who KNOW how we feel. This place is where we wrap words of encouragement around each other and feel the embrace of love, kindness and compassion. 

This place is where we cast out judgment and learn forgiveness. We practice patience, acceptance, selfless service and we experience the divine. It is a place where we laugh out loud and celebrate victories. It is a place where we cry with heavy tears when life is ugly and it hurts. It is where we find courage to take the next step and wisdom to know it’s the right step. It’s a place where we stop pretending marriage is easy and a place we can share our ‘authentic’ selves. This is a home to all of us who are living out our lives as part of something greater than ourselves. 

This is our home. 

Join us. 

Live with us, walk with us, laugh, cry, sing, run, play with us as we bring honor and glory to our Jesus. This little place on the web is a giant place in the Kingdom where the heart of Christ is alive. It is where He shares His hope, His grace, His forgiveness, His healing. It is where we are free. 

This place is for all of us. And this community is always about love! ~ Lynn Donovan, Ann Hutchison and the SUMite Nation.

—–

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa 

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway. 

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway. 

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway. 

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway. 

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway. 

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway. 

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway. 

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway. 

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway. 

—-

Meet some of our community: 

Ann Paula NZ

Ann Hutchison, Paula Blackie, Auckland, New Zealand

 

Community Orange TX

Debbie Harris, Martha Bush, Orange, TX

 

Janice Turners Group Nov 2017

Pointe North Church in Moncks Corner, SC. 2017

 

 

Cynthia October 16 2017

Email us some of your photos. Write to us a “real” letter. We will hold it in our hands and pray over it. Send us a scribbled scripture on a napkin, a book you want us to read. We love, love mail and treasure it. We would love to add more of ‘you’ to our community. Hugs, Lynn and Ann

Lynn Donovan, 6300 Puerto Drive, Rancho Murieta, CA 95683, USA

Ann Hutchison, 10 Pentland Avenue, Mt Eden, Auckland 1024, New Zealand 

Comments

118 responses

  1. Teresa T Avatar
    Teresa T

    Rats. I lost my url already. Oh, well.
    This sounds like fun. Good luck with the changes.

    Reply
  2. Carolyn Avatar
    Carolyn

    Love this and will be writing you a letter soon!! Bless you both in all you are doing to help kick satan on his a….!

    Reply
  3. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Love you Carolyn… so much. Have a wonderful day and let's do some kickin'
    together. *grin*. Hugs.

    Reply
  4. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Hugs Teresa. Thanks for joining the fun and being part of our amazing
    family. I'm soooo glad you are walking with us. You bring so much to our
    lives. Hugs.

    Reply
  5. Sabrina Avatar
    Sabrina

    Hi, my name is Sabrina and I heard a radio program a couple weeks ago talking about your book. I’m very grateful to have found this community. I’ll be sending a letter soon. God Bless you for creating this community 🙂

    Reply
  6. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Soooo glad you found us Sabrina. Have a wonderful day. And thank you for
    praying for Gina. Means the world to me. Hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  7. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    I was searching Amazon for a book on unequally yoked, I thank God I bought your book Winning Him Without Words, because MY words are/were making things worse!
    I already lead ladies LIFE groups in my home, but am interested in, what I think is a huge problem – for all of us women in my mega church who are spiritually unequally yoked who cannot fix things on our own, we need God, and I would like to help facilitate a group.
    Your book has really opened my eyes and I want to be apart of something bigger, which is to help others at the same time myself!

    Reply
  8. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    HI Nancy,
    This comment thrilled my heart. There ARE so many of us how live unequally
    yoked and there are so little resources. Mostly women need other women like
    you to come alongside and encourage them. Thank you for responding to the
    prompting from the Lord about helping them. We have a ton of free resources
    on our website for starting small groups. Visit
    www.winninghimwithoutwords.com
    Dineen and I would love to pray for your group. We also would be willing to
    Skype into one of your meetings for an open Q&A. We just want to help you
    and your group find Jesus. Let us know how we can help. Write me and let me
    know when your group will start so we can be praying over it. Love you Nancy
    and thank you for serving the Kingdom. Hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  9. Claire Avatar
    Claire

    Hi, my name is Claire and I found this community while searching the internet. I am also in an unequally yolked marriage which is being attacked heavily at the moment and at present the future of my marriage is very uncertain. I am grateful for a community like this for people in similar situations. God bless!

    Reply
  10. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Praying for you Clair
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  11. Darlene Avatar
    Darlene

    I found your site about a week ago. Every night I lay in bed immersing myself in your articles. They provide so much insight, wisdom, encouragement and motivation. I willingly entered a SUM nearly 20 years ago. I love my man and he has more than shown his powerful love for me. That being said, I live in fear of d*vorce. I fear God using it to discipline or punish those like me who knowingly marry unequally. 🙁 I hope this is an inaccurate perception and that God prefers us to be married, even if we are unequally yoked. What is your opinion? Also, I am conservative and he is liberal. Therefore, not only do we avoid talking about faith, we don’t talk politics, either. I wonder if any others here have a similar situation. My husband is self-sacrificing and generous with his love, patience and time. But he is for some reason dead set against Christ and has a disdain for Christianity. I would love to read “Winning Him Without Words” but I worry if he saw it in my possession it might actually make him less receptive to the Christian witness. Please pray for me. I am spiritually weak and an ineffective witness. I want to change that. I need a transformation by the Holy Spirit. I want to minister to him in a way that brings him to Christ. I also need prayer for the protection of our marriage from the Enemy. Do fears or thoughts of d*vorce come from God (because I married unequally) or from the Enemy? I have been overwhelmed with them lately and it’s been causing me great distress. God bless you Lynn and Dineen. Thank you for your ministry. My heart and prayers go out to the other members here also.

    Reply
  12. Peta Avatar
    Peta

    I heard last Saturday an interview with you both on 103.2 in Sydney Australia where I live. Thank God for that. I now have hope and need support. I need an army of believers to stand by and whom will stand by me.
    My partner of one year grew up till he was seven or so, a Christian. When we met one year ago, he did not know which faith he belonged to and had considered being a Muilim and joining the Bhai Faith. I loved him in Christ before we even started dating and were just friends for three months (we work together in the same office). Even then God called me to interceed for him and I started praying for him to return back to the Christian faith and return back to Church. After months and months of prayer, he now calls himself a Christian and started going back to Church, praise God. He does hoever, still rejects Jesus and rejects me for being in love with Jesus. I am the bride of Christ but he will not allow that. He is jelous of my relationship with Jesus and my walk is a very lonely one. My family have also always rejected my faith and thus rejected me. My father is an atheist. I do not care, I will go on loving Jesus but my partners rejection of Jesus hurts me deeply. I have to go underground with my thirst and hunger for Jesus. I need support and i feel I found it after listeneing to your interview. I no longer feel as alone. I canot give up and leave this man whom I love and adore. I marvel in this rejectio from family and partner as weird as that may seem as it makes me love Jesus evcen more and drwas me closer to Him. he is my all, my everything.
    My paryer is that my partner and my family will be saved. I will not give up praying for them as in the past, the Church has hurt them all and I believe their wounds keep them from believing. They reject God and His son because of what man did to them. My heart hurts for them but I feel that the enemy hasd a stronghold.
    Bless you
    Peta

    Reply
  13. Bethany Avatar
    Bethany

    Just found this site after a friend texted me the name of your book, “Winning Him Without Words.” I will be buying this book as soon as possible!
    My husband and I have been married for 6 years. My father passed away almost 2 years before we got married and I became very angry at God for taking my father from me. I essentially turned my back on God and began living in sin with my then fiance. It was only a couple of years after we married that I finally asked for God’s forgiveness. I married my husband knowing he was questioning his faith and since then he now considers himself agnostic. We have a 2 year old son and I worry about raising him a Christian when his daddy doesn’t believe. My husband and I have a good relationship but I struggle with loneliness…spiritual loneliness. I so desperately want to be able to share my walk with him and tell him what God is doing in my life and what I learned at church or in small group. I’m connected with a great group of women in my small group that have been wonderful and are praying for my husband and me. It’s a struggle just going to church alone. I don’t like sitting by myself because I feel like my other half is missing. I want him to be there next to me worshipping God together! I pray for my husband constantly and I can see God working in him…baby steps! He is an open minded person…I just wish he could be open minded about God! I will be sending a letter…when I feel I have it in me to write everything down.
    Please pray for my husband, James. He is really struggling…he’s without a job and I have for years been the primary breadwinner. He struggles with depression, anxiety and his purpose in life. Of course, he can’t find his purpose because he hasn’t given himself wholly over to God. Only God can make him whole!
    Thank you for this online community! So thankful to finally find an online community of other believing wives with unbelieving husbands! I truly believe that it was God’s Divine intervention that I found this website!

    Reply
  14. Angie Avatar
    Angie

    I love my husband and I want what is best for him, Christ, but I am not sure if I can hold on anymore. I feel so lost in our relationship. I am getting closer to the Lord everyday. And I praise him for that. I am not sure how to proceed with my husband. Our relationship has been based on lie after lie. I can no longer trust him. Thank God I can put my trust in Christ. I feel alone in this struggle and I am trying to love my husband with Christ’s love. Please pray for my Husband, Shawn, he is so blinded by sin and stuck in the pain of his past! It is tearing my family apart! Thank you!

    Reply
  15. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Angie,
    I'm going to send you a personal email. Watch for it later today. Hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  16. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Bethany,
    My friend, it's not an accident that you arrived here. We are so glad you
    found us. There is hope for everything you face and wrote about below.
    ALWAYS hope…
    I'm so glad you will be reading our book. It truly is a story of redemption
    of lives and marriages. I pray you see Jesus on every page and that He
    brings you to a new place in faith and in your marriage. Sending you love
    today. Hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  17. kathy shawver Avatar
    kathy shawver

    I remarried almost a year ago-my husband was not raised in church, I was. Neither of us was where we needed to be with God at the time of our marriage but we convinced the pastor we were in order to have a church wedding to please my parents and ease my conscience. since then many issues ave arisen or gotten worse in our blended family.(discipline, finances,issues with his ex, issues w my ex,safety concerns for te kids in a more hazardous location, the moral climate and culture in our new hometown, issues of abuse and mistreatment in both our pasts etc) i sent my kids to live with my parents, left and came back twice, tried to reform all my and my husbands bad habits at once —and the list goes on. Its still only known to God how or when Ill be able to be with my kids while still preserving my marriage since many of the issues that led to my decision to move the kids out have yet to be resolved in order for me to feel in my spirit that the emotional/spiritual atmosphere is “safe” and appropriate for 2 little girls who have already been tru tonns of change, stress and uncertainty the past year. Suffice to say that it was truly divine inmtervention that lead me to yur site and assured me Im not alone in my pain, doubt, and confusion.

    Reply
  18. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Hi My new friend Kathy,
    I don’t doubt that God has sent you to us and this amazing community. I absolutely hurt in my heart over all you have endured and experienced. I am so sorry.
    My friend, I KNOW God can redeem all of it. He can turn the pain and burnt ashed of your life to joy. Laughter, trust. All of it can be redeemed. You are starting your journey. Cling to Jesus. Press into Him and He will walk with you every step of the way. Please know I am holding you. Love, Lynn

    Reply
  19. karengill Avatar
    karengill

    Thank you for your book! It has been a godsend. It has changed my life. I have recommended it to several friends who are not in spiritually mismatched marriages because I think it is full of powerful spiritual truths that all Christians need to hear. Thank you so much. You have inspired me to consider starting a women’s study group at my church. My husband does attend church with me, but does not have a personal relationship with Jesus. Please pray for his salvation. I now know I can be truly happy in my marriage with or without my husband becoming a Christian. I pray for hi salvation even if it
    happens after I’m gone.

    Reply
  20. paula kairnes Avatar
    paula kairnes

    Hi I love your website.I live in rhode island
    paula kairnes

    Reply
  21. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Hi Paula,
    So glad you found us. You are among many, many friends who know how you
    feel. Sending you a warm hug from the other side of the country. Love, Lynn

    Reply
  22. Rosalyn Avatar
    Rosalyn

    Hi Lynn,
    My name is Rosalyn. I sent you an email a couple of months ago about my struggle being separated from my husband. He says he wants a divorce but I know God has the final word. It took a while and a lot of disobedience on my part but I think I’m at the point where I can stop trying to restore our marriage myself and trust God, knowing that His plan is perfect. I would like to join you on the fast. I am asking for clarity, wisdom and that the Holy Spirit perform heart surgery on both of us. My husband’s name is Samuel. Please pray that our Father’s perfect will be done in our marriage and that He be glorified in the final outcome. I want to thank my Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST because He has given me so much joy, peace and strength during this time. And I thank Him for the heart He has given you and Dineen. This website gives people hope

    Reply
  23. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    I will be praying for you and for Samuel during this fast. Keep marching my
    warrior friend and I will march with you. Love, Lynn

    Reply
  24. Lexie Avatar
    Lexie

    My dad referred me to this site because I have been dating someone for 3 and 1/2 years. He is a Buddhist and I am a Christian. My dad is an Assemblies of God pastor and while he disagrees with our decision to be together since we would be unequally yoked, he has told us that he will support us and love us no matter our decision because he raised me and taught me all that he could but the decision, in the end, is mine.
    I feel so torn and have felt this way for the years I have been with my boyfriend. We do genuinely love each other and the more that time goes by, the stronger our relationship gets.
    Sometimes it’s very difficult for me to handle because my boyfriend and I really work hard to take good care of each other and love each other so genuinely. Yet, we are struggling to determine if we can stay together because neither one of us wants to end in divorce. Yet we see some of our friends take their relationships for granted and not take such care of each other.
    My boyfriend and I are preparing to have one final conversation in the coming weeks as to whether we will go down the road of marriage or not. The biggest thing for us is how to raise children – We do not want to bring innocents into this world and have them feeling confused about our differences.
    I’m desperate. Will you please pray for me – that I will hear God’s voice and make the right decisions for my life – and the same prayer for my boyfriend (and ultimately his salvation).
    Thank you so much for this website/support group.

    Reply
  25. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    My Sweet friend Lexie,
    I am so sorry I'm behind in responding. Please forgive me. I want you to
    know that I am deeply moved by your honesty and how you are torn up about
    your situation. My sister, I can only share with you what I have lived and I
    promise you I will pray for you.
    I want you to know that your Dad loves you very much to support you no
    matter your decision. As a Pastor, I'm sure he's had to watch as couples
    struggle or marriages implode because of differing faiths. So, I can bet he
    is praying like crazy for you and for your boyfriend. Love your dad for that
    my sister. He is a good man.
    Lexie, I will share with you the two biggest issues that I know you will
    face after your wedding. These issues are common and they are not easily
    resolved. You will have constant conflict over them and struggle greatly,
    even with heartbreak when you can't agree.
    One is that after you marry, you faith in Jesus will continue to grow and
    change. You will want to share these changes and the excitement of your
    growing faith with your spouse. More than anything you will want him to be
    part of it. Often what happens is that a spouse becomes angry, hostile over
    this development and pulls away or/and becomes harsh. You will soon discover
    that you both view your lives and the circumstances through entirely
    different world views. Your world views will be at constant odds and this
    creates conflict. Your world views are your values and everything you hold
    dear and special. I found living within a marriage with two different world
    views very difficult and peace often was illusive between us. In my
    experience, my husband had no other faith background. I image it might even
    be more difficult when your spouse comes from an opposing faith view.
    Secondly, your faith views and beliefs become very important once children
    arrive. I ask you now to have a long and detailed conversation about how you
    will raise children. You may be willing to compromise now about some of
    these things with regard to your children. But once they arrive and you are
    growing in faith, it is likely that if you promised your spouse you would
    share Buddhist beliefs, you actually won't be able to do it. AND in fact, it
    will panic you. Raising children in a spiritual mismatch has proven one of
    the most difficult things I have done. It's scary and conflict arises often.
    I know this is likely not the kind of response you wanted to read.
    Especially because if you read our blog, I am now very happy in my spiritual
    mismatch. However, it took me years and years and much surrender of what I
    wanted from my marriage.
    Lexie if you pray and fast seeking God's will over your marriage, God will
    answer you. Ask Him to be very clear in His answer of how you are to
    proceed. My sister, I love your heart for seeking out God's wisdom. God will
    take care of you. You are so deeply, deeply loved, Hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  26. Julie Farris Avatar
    Julie Farris

    I will get a “real” letter in the mail, but I am leading a small group starting this tuesday that will be reading winning him without words. We are really looking forward to getting it started!! Please be praying for the marriages, lives and relationships of those involved.

    Reply
  27. Lexie Avatar
    Lexie

    Lynn – I actually forgot to check in here for a few days…and remembered just this evening. So much has been happening. My boyfriend and I keep putting off “the conversation” because of big events -I’ve been job hunting, weddings, birthdays…-all these things that we committed to doing together and we didn’t want potentially sad news to steal the thunder of these other hurdles and occasions..but reading this – thank you so much for your honesty AND your encouragement to continue to seek the Lord.
    You were right – of course it’s not the ideal response I would have wanted, but I know I need input like this to continue to seek God and make sure it’s His voice that leads my decision.
    If you have an email that I can email you at I would really like that.
    Thank you again – Lexie

    Reply
  28. Nancy Oliver Avatar
    Nancy Oliver

    I resign my life to Christ!

    Reply
  29. Tamara Avatar
    Tamara

    I did not find this website by accident. God is truly Amazing! I just returned from a Christian Women’s conference and have felt so revived and refreshed. God answered my prayer this morning and as much as I’d love to tell you my story right now… I just want to make sure I made a connection before my daughter wakes from her nap. Thank you Jesus for leading me here.

    Reply
  30. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Tamara, Glad you found us. This is an amazing, vibrant community of Christ
    followers. We are ROCKIN the world for Jesus. Welcome and jump right in.
    Love and hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  31. Cassandra@elitemate Avatar
    Cassandra@elitemate

    You’re doing an important work. God bless you and all the people you are helping. I know that there are many people who visit your site, feel encouraged and leave being able to face another day, week, month or year. They may not leave a comment but they are encouraged all the same.
    I honestly believe that there are also Christians who are unequally yoked. One person may be interested in growing and thriving in their faith while the other is stagnant. In other cases partners are divided because of their Christian beliefs, over issues that one partner sees as unimportant but the other sees as vital.

    Reply
  32. Annette Avatar
    Annette

    Ladies, I am blessed daily by God flowing through your words. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You inspire me to not only love my husband in a more godly manner but others around me as well. May God continue to bless you both!

    Reply
  33. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    LOVE you Annette. You are greatly loved and we are blessed to walk this
    journey with you. Girl, hang on because the ride is fantastic, scary, funny,
    astonishing. The best is yet to come. Hugging you. Lynn

    Reply
  34. Heather Wood Avatar
    Heather Wood

    Hello my name is Heather Wood. I too am in a mismatched marriage. I am 31 years old and have been with my husband since i was 15. I am so in love with him, but he does not have God in his life, nor in his thoughts. As i am writing you now i hear him snoring in the background. I was raised in church with my Grandfather being the pastor at our church. My Father is a preacher as well. I was saved at the age of 9, but i don’t think i realized what was all involved. I gave my heart to the Lord in 2007 after the birth of our first son Remington. I know now what i wish i would have known then. Everyday seems like a struggle. we are so diffrent in everyway you could possibley imagean. I feel like i can’t talk to anyone because they don’t know what i am going through. I recently started going to a new church, and during bible study last sunday i listened to God and i let them know how my husband is not saved and asked for their prayers. the next day my Mom gave me your book! another way God listens to all of our prayers. i can’t thank you enough for your support, to know that i am not alone and there are so many more people going through the same things i am! it is such a relief. i know that you are busy but if you can please remember me that i can be a light, and live for Jesus. but also that i can bite my tounge. it is so hard not saying what i want to say to him. It hurts me to know that my children see him when he is drinking or cussing, please just keep me in your prayers. i cant thank you enough.
    Faith and Grace
    Heather Wood

    Reply
  35. Cindy Avatar
    Cindy

    Hi My name is Cindy and I was recently married to my husband in February 2012. We are spritually unequal, but love my husband very much. We have gone through so much in our relationship and have almost split up, but my faith in God keeps me going. I refuse to give up on my marraige because giving up on my husband means giving up on God, as well. I hope to find some support here and someone willing to listen, as well. God Bless. Cindy

    Reply
  36. Cindy Avatar
    Cindy

    Would it be too much to ask for prayer for my husband, who is not saved. He walked away from the Lord and I know will see the the move of God in his life. Cindy

    Reply
  37. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Amen Cindy. You have found people who love you and will pray for you. God is
    so pleased with your heart and He will take you on an amazing journey. Love
    you my friend, Hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  38. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Yes, Cindy, we will pray for your husband. Lord Jesus, this hour we are
    asking your power and presence upon Cindy's husband. Lord, decree this full
    restoration, salvation. Father, I bind the enemy and the works and effects
    of evil from this home. Lord, restore and lift up Cindy and her husband.
    Decree their covenant of marriage as an unbreakable bond. I pray all these
    things in the authority given to me through Jesus Christ. Lord let LOVE
    pervade this home and be the highest priority. Amen.

    Reply
  39. Cindy Avatar
    Cindy

    Amen. Thank you so much Lynne. As I prayed this prayer with you, I felt the presence of God and know that God will work things out for the good. Amen. Thank you. God Bless. Cindy

    Reply
  40. Loretta Avatar
    Loretta

    Hi, my name is Loretta and I have been married for 32 years. I did marry Jim knowing he was not a Christian, but I love my husband very much. I knew it would be a challenge knowing he is an atheist. I ask God for forgiveness many times for this. We have 3 grown kids, who are not Christians, but are very loving individuals in their own way. I do miss Christian fellowship so much with him and sharing what the Lord is doing in my life, it does make my life lonely at times. But I honestly believe, one day Jim will become a Christian. We were seperated for 1 yr about 24 years ago and the Lord spoke to me to go back to my husband (had moved out of state). that He will take care of my husband and to leave that reunion up to him. Well I did listen to God, got on a bus with my one daughter at the time and went back to my husband, yes our marriage did survive and our love grew and grew every day, but he still is an unbeliever. He proclaims he is a Buddist. I pray every day that the Lord will come into his heart and he will become a Christian. I ask that you can help me pray that I will able to see my husband, Jim become a Christian and that we could experience our Lord’s fellowship together. God Bless. Loretta

    Reply
  41. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    O Lord our Great God,
    Today I bring Loretta before you. I bring her husband. Lord, I'm moved in my
    spirit to take authority over the deceptive spirits the spirits of lies that
    have agreement in Loretta's husband. I cast them out and ask that you place
    your truth, healing and compassion into this home. Rise up Loretta to great
    courage to fight the battles. Give her victory. Show her your fathomless
    love and bring joy into her everyday living. Encourage her, lift her,
    sharpen her, increase in her, bring breakthroughs,…. Love on her with
    might. Change her life this hour and let her KNOW you with an everlasting
    love. In the name of Jesus. AMEN

    Reply
  42. cheryl Avatar
    cheryl

    I can’t figure out how to join a community. Is it an on line community? I know how to use forums, but I don’t see any. I see the map, but not sure what to do with it. Can someone help me?
    thanks

    Reply
  43. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Hi Cheryl,
    Joining our community just mean hanging out here on our website. Stopping in
    and reading the posts and being part of the community through the comments.
    Also, find more of us on our Facebook page. And you can join the forum by
    clicking the link to 1 Peter 3 Living. Our community joins here to talk
    about different aspects of walking with God and how to thrive in our
    mismatched marriages. So glad you found us. I know others will be praying
    for you. Love you and so glad you found us. Love and hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  44. CB Avatar
    CB

    I’m in a spiritual mismatch. Been married ten years. God has brought us through many difficult years & He is sustaining us. I’m lonely. Not just because of the mismatch,but my husband chooses alcohol & work over our relationship. Things have been improving the last few weeks,but I’mbecoming almost shell shocked and over my husband. I’m angry he does not meet my needs. I’m ready to move. I’ve cried out to God on my face for five years. I think I’ ve been depressed.I’m not sure what else to say.

    Reply
  45. JL Avatar
    JL

    My husband and I have been married for 17 years and we are spiritually mismatched. We have 3 children. When my husband and I fell in love in college, neither of us were following God’s path for our lives but I believe once we entered into our marriage God intended us to be together. My husband was raised Mormon and I was raised with a Christian background. For the past 9 years, we were attending a non-denominational Bible based church. We have been through many trials in our marriage and both of us have relied heavily on our faith but my husband had felt increasing called to return to the Mormon faith over the past 2 years so this year he decided to return to the church. I did not fight him in this because I truly believed God had told me to trust Him. The verse that came to me over and over during this time was Proverbs 3:5-6. However, I am now concerned that my 12 year old son is interested in his father’s church and I find myself scared. Please understand that I love my husband and his family. They are some of the most beautiful people I know. They are full of God’s love even if we disagree theologically about exactly who God is. They have been instrumental in helping my oldest son through some very difficult times these past 6 months when we did not feel this same love from our church family. The reason for my writing in this forum is that I feel very alone in this journey. I know that my heavenly Father has a plan in all of this but I am feeling weary, alone, and worried for what this may mean for my children’s spiritual future. Please pray for my strength and for God to provide me His wisdom on how to handle my children’s questions, my fellow believer’s scrutiny, and how to continue to love my husband despite my concerns regarding his faith. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories.

    Reply
  46. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    CB,
    I can feel your pain and I will tell you that I have lived in that kind of
    pain where needs remain unmet. But it's out of that great emptiness that my
    heart had room to let Jesus fill me. I've discovered that God wanted to work
    through me to reach my husband to bring healing to him. Ask the Lord is this
    is true in your marriage. I ask you to get a copy of our book if you can
    because we share so much of what helped us move past the hurts.
    I also know that I recently wrote about facing alcohol addictions in
    marriage. Here is the link:
    http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/my_weblog/2012/10/winning-him-with
    out-words-or-not.html
    I pray the Lord will increase in you. That you receive God's wisdom and
    discernment and have a supernatural encounter. I'm praying against the
    spirit of addiction or anger and bitterness in your home. I cast out those
    devils and I ask the Lord's truth floods your house, your heart and that of
    your husband. Healing, provision, love compassion, fullness. In the name of
    Jesus. Amen.

    Reply
  47. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    HI JL,
    So glad you found us here. My friend, I want to just wrap my arms around you
    this day. I know you have many concerns about your husband and your son but
    as I read this I just wanted to assure you that God will not fail you. You
    are to wrap your prayers around both of them and trust God to protect and to
    reveal all that He has for your men.
    I grew up in SLC, not a Mormon however, it was a wonderful community. Our
    theology has differences but they, like you said are good people. My friend,
    love Jesus with your whole heart and then love on all of your family. It
    will become irresistible. In fact, you may be the very person God uses to
    bring an opening of heaven into your extended family.
    Walk with us here and be encouraged. Love with passion and hope because love
    casts our fear. Hugging you tight. Lynn

    Reply
  48. Dineen Avatar
    Dineen

    Hi JL,
    Your son is most likely interested because he’s becoming a man and wants to be like his dad. This is a normal part of growing up. But trust that all you’ve poured into him has built a foundation that will guide your son through this and keep him in the truth. Trust God with your son. I know that’s hard. I think letting go of our kids is sometimes even hard than letting go of our husband and trusting God for their future. LOL! I know it was for me. Like Lynn said, keep bing this presence in your son’s like and in your family to show Jesus and God’s love to them. Trust God for the rest. Pray for discernment and wisdom for you son too. God is faithful, my friend!

    Reply
  49. cheryl Avatar
    cheryl

    ll

    Reply
  50. anne Avatar
    anne

    I have been married almost 30 years and we have 3 children. I always knew he wasn’t a committed Christian – but didn’t know for sure what his beliefs were. Even though we’ve always gone to church together, he’s been noncommittal with his true beliefs. Last year he confided that he believes there is a higher power, but doesn’t have to look the way of Jesus. I was angry for awhile as I felt he deceived me. I pray for God to send his spirit to convict him – to break him or to fill him up – whatever it takes. I have a hard time respecting him as he’s more interested in movies and music than in service. He’ll support my service and giving, but isn’t personally excited about it. I think it’s harder for him to come to Jesus as he thinks he’s already “in” – I think because he goes to church he believes this. A couple of times recently he has asked me to pray with him (never had done that before) and has asked me to read the Bible with him. But that hasn’t happened in a few months. I don’t see a real relationship with God in him, however. He also has an addiction to porn, which totally by God’s doing he has been awakened to the problem and has been going to a Christian accountability group for this. This was a true miracle as he had refused for almost a year to go to a group, then God changed his heart and he started on his own accord without my even asking. He’s made remarkable changes in his openess with me and is trying to change. However, without God I don’t have hope that it will last. He is in a group with very strong Christian men, so I’m praying God will use them to bring my husband to Jesus. He has said he admires these men and that he has the goal of having a strong faith like them. I also struggle with covetting other men. It isn’t the other men per se that I want, but rather I’m longing for my husband to be my leader and protector – he’s neither. It’s a horrible feeling. He’s a good man – provider and great father – kind and gracious. But he’s not a spiritual leader and his heart is in the material and not the spiritual. Please pray for us. I’m praying for the women here.

    Reply
  51. CB Avatar
    CB

    Dear Anne,
    I’m walking with you in prayer. Praise God your husband’sin has been brought his sin to the light! And by God’s grace and mercy lead him to a godly group of men! It’ s natural to feel the way you do towards other men,it simply are needs you have.just remember psalm 21 the LORD is your Shepherd.You shall not want. He will meet your needs & it sounds like He is caring for you both. May you find healing in Christ dealing with such betrayals. God will restore the years the locusts have eaten. Rest in Him. And make your prayer,LORD change me! Keep praying for your husband,but put your hope in God! He is your refuge and your strength. Your ever present help in trouble. God bless you.

    Reply
  52. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Praying for you Anne,
    I’m praying for a miracle and for increase and for God’s lavish love to overwhelm you both. To transform you. Praying for provision, love, forgiveness, kindness, financial peace, joy and thriving. Hugs. Lynn

    Reply
  53. CB Avatar
    CB

    Lynn,
    Thank you for your empathy & encouragement. I’m so feeling between a rock and a hard place. The give is then the heart. God is so good. It doesn’t seem right to complain. I’m just understanding more how being in an unequally yoked marriage covenant truly feels; and that is excruciatingly difficult. However,I’m reminded of Jesus’ s words Come to me all you who are weary & heavy laden,and I will give you rest….not sure if it is found in the same passage,but He reveals that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. It is such a great temptation to bare the burden of our husbands salvation and personally the burden of keeping the marriage and our family together. I hope you don’ t mind me sharing. Really appreciate prayer! Thank you.

    Reply
  54. Julie McNee Avatar
    Julie McNee

    Thanks, just joining and reading at this point!

    Reply
  55. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Hi Julie,
    So glad you found us. Girl, you are among friends and we love you. Praying
    the year ahead brings healing, God's astounding presence, your spouse's
    salvation and every good gift. Hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  56. Vanessa Avatar
    Vanessa

    I became a Christian, three years after marriage. I am finding being married to an unbeliever very difficult, and I fear that his influence will affect my three children becoming Christians.
    I desperatley need to communicate with other woman in the same situation. I attend church but everyone in my age group with children are happily married and I just feel so alone

    Reply
  57. Robin Avatar
    Robin

    A friend told me of your program she heard on Focus on the Family. I have been receiving your emails but have not really jumped in yet. I see you are going to fast and I would like to join you. I have fasted for my husband and family in the past. My husband and I were married in 1989. I was born again in August 2004. Praise The Lord! I have read many books on unequally yoked relationships that have been helpful. But of course we are all going through same feelings but in different circumstances. There are days I feel The Lord helping me to love my husband but our relationship is not good. We are like roomates. My husbnd is a drinker and I do not know how to handle it sometimes. I get weary when it seems my husband likes alcohol more than me or his family. Now my 21 year old son is drinking – not that I blame my husband – its just hard to watch them floundering in this messed up world. I placed my name on the community map and saw there was two woman close to me who are on this site. How would I go about getting in touch with them? Also, I tried going to a link you posted Lynn on living with an alcoholic but it didn’t seem to work?

    Reply
  58. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Robin,
    There are so many women who live with this issue. Here are a few links and I
    would strongly suggest you begin attending an Al-Anon meeting. They teach
    you how to cope and the shock that your husband now knows you think he is an
    alcoholic may bring change. The links follow:
    http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/my_weblog/2009/07/conflict-alcohol
    -and-marriage.html
    http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/my_weblog/2009/08/conflict-alcohol
    -and-what-happened-to-mark-and-tina.html

    Reply
  59. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    Hi. I’m a fan and daily reader of “Winning Him Without Words.” I am more broken than ever. God is really showing me that my service to him needs to start with my husband. But before that-I need to rekindle my relationship with the Lord. I was saved 15 years ago. I’ve been a leader at church and a spiritual leader for my three kids for 10 years but I’ve been missing the boat. Praying for my husband and lecturing him about not being “angry” all the time is not enough. He is angry and frustrated because he does not know the Lord. I know that now because I have let some life circumstances and bad choices put me in a path of being irritable and depressed (aka-not in Christ). I have stepped down at church to spend more time in Christ and to put fourth much more energy on being a good witness to my husband. My friend and I are doing a study on your book and the 30 day prayer in chapter 1 together. I seem to be able to muster up what’s necessary to witness for my kids, but I haven’t honored what I need so that I can be okay for myself and MY HUSBAND. I finally and “getting it.” I need to put the oxygen mask on and rekindle with the love of my eternity (Lord) so that I can rekindle my love for my husband. Sorry so long. Can use all the encouragement that I can get. Thanks!!! Melissa

    Reply
  60. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Wow Melissa,
    It sounds like Jesus has really got a hold on you now and you are on a
    journey. My friend, I'm so glad you found us. Because we KNOW how you feel.
    We know your pain and the real struggles of raising kids and being the
    spiritual leader. So welcome here. I will pray for you. You will find
    friendship and love in this amazing community of people who know exactly how
    you feel and your struggles.
    Our God is all powerful. He sees your heart. He knows you deeply and loves
    you. So push deeply into Him. Stay reading His word. I know that the study
    you are in will help tremendously.
    I'm praying for God's hand upon you. To strengthen you. To give you wisdom,
    discernment and supernatural energy to raise your kids and live in victory
    in your home. Praying for salvation of your husband and God's increase,
    financial provision, his love, grace, and power all to be upon you now this
    hour and every day hence. In Jesus name. Amen.

    Reply
  61. Karen Dickson Avatar
    Karen Dickson

    Hi, my name is Karen and I have been married to John for 25 years. John was brought up a Catholic but we married in a Methodist church as he was divorced. We used to attend the mehtodist church together for the first couple of years of our marriage but then we stopped. When our children were young I began attending church with them but John didn’t want to come. I still attend church but on my own as neither of my children, now 23 and 20 are true believers, although they do believe God exists, which is a start, i suppose.
    My husband believes himself to be a Christian, he prays each night, but refuses to read the bible. He believes religion is a private thing and doesn’t agree with bible study, prayer groups etc although he doesn’t mind me going as long as they don’t encroach too much on our life. Although he is a Christian in that he believes in God and Jesus, he is also very worldly and doesn’t understand why i listen to Christian radio or enjoy Christian TV and books. I know the Lord will work in his life and I am trying to be patient. I have found your book extremely helpful and am thrilled with this site. God bless you both and all the wives on this site.

    Reply
  62. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    So glad you found this amazing community Karen. My friend, you are not alone
    and there are many here with exactly your same story. So, link arms with us
    because we believe in a GREAT BIG GOD. And He is in the business of
    miracles. Love you already, Hugs, Lynn

    Reply
  63. anne Avatar
    anne

    Are there any posts since Dec 5? That’s where it ends on my screen. I’m thinking I’m not doing something right.

    Reply
  64. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    HI Anne,
    If you log onto our main site, there are usually five posts on the first
    page. http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/
    Scroll all the way down and you will see a link titled NEXT. Click on that
    and it takes you to older posts. All post are listed by date. Hugs. Lynn

    Reply
  65. Leah Avatar
    Leah

    Hi my name is Leah and I would like to be part of this community. I really need faith to hang in there. My husband had an affair 3 years ago and sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing hanging in there. I love my husband and really want to see him and my son come to the Lord. It’s just so hard and I struggle to be emotionally stable. Please pray for me. Your responses are encouraging. God Bless, Leah

    Reply
  66. Leah Avatar
    Leah

    I would like to join your community. Really need prayers for healing and wholeness. Thanks

    Reply
  67. anne Avatar
    anne

    Hi Karen, I read your post and wanted to say my husband is similar to yours. He grew up Episcopalian – very private with faith. I think my husband THINKS he’s a Christian, because he goes to church. But I don’t see much fruit – mainly I don’t see a true and lasting hunger, regular prayer or reading. However, over the last year and a half we’ve been going to a wonderful, vibrant non denominational church. Our teens brought us there. My husband LOVES it! He says he’s done with the Episcopal church and all the rote rituals. He says it’s his goal to have the faith he sees at our new church. I KNOW it was God that brought us there. You never know when it will happen or who God will use. I’m still not sure if my husband has surrendered to God. In my heart I don’t think he has. I do know that God has him nestled in a church that teaches the truth, that loves people, and that loves God. I just know in my heart that this has to be good. I’m praying for you and your husband and children- for God to open their eyes, to give them a hunger, to do whatever HE has to do to bring them to Him. Annd

    Reply
  68. anne Avatar
    anne

    I see there are at least 2 others in the Portland OR area. I’m interested in connecting. If you are as well, let me know. thanks, anne

    Reply
  69. anne Avatar
    anne

    Leah, I just prayed for you. I have issues of betrayal in my marriage as well. It’s tough. You question whether your decisions were the right ones. I know I can get full of regrets – why did I even marry him, what if I had left him right away, etc. Then with kids, it’s hard because you weigh your desires against working things out for the sake of the kids. Then there is the huge issue of salvation. If your spouse isn’t a believer or a strong believer, you think you should be the primary caregiver and you want as much time with your kids as possible so that you can influence them in that direction. That’s an eternal choice. If you want to send me a personal email, I’d love to encourage each other.
    anne

    Reply
  70. Jenny Avatar
    Jenny

    Hi. My name is Jenny. I’m new here. Just found your ebook a week ago, and am working my way through it, along with reading archived post after post here at SUM.
    My marriage is a little different from any I’ve read here.
    This December I will have been married 20 years. My husband and I grew up in Christian homes. We met on a mission trip to Central America. We had one date from the time we realized we loved each other to the time we got married. It was TOTALLY a God thing.
    Along the way, my husband got involved with a “home church”. VERY long story short, I beieve this “church” is a cult. I went with him for 14 years, and was eventually told to leave. (Along with almost 25 other people who were slowly kicked out because they didn’t meet the standards of the leaders of this group.) The leaders are very insistant that EVERYTHING they do is from the voice of God. They will tell you when you are saved, and if you are not saved. (They always assume everyone is unsaved until they hear otherwise.) They also assume most churches are full of hypocrites and most people in them are lost. (I was told I was not saved.) My son went with us as he grew up, and was “seen” as saved last summer. Then 5 months ago, he was also kicked out.
    The problem is my husband believes, 110% that this group is of God, and is not swayed by anything that contradicts that. He is deeply involved in the group and spends much of his time devoted to their ministry.
    I’ve read your posts and try to imagine how it must feel to have a husband not interested in God at all. I know that must be hard. But it is also hard when you have a husband that you KNOW loves the Lord, but he’s been told that his wife is not a Christain, and believes that to be true. He leaves on Sunday and is gone all day (the “church” is an hour away). When he IS home, he is on the computer putting together Bible studies for his church, or practicing worship music to lead for their church.
    We met and fell in love in a like relationship with God, and now we cannot even have a 5 minute discussion about the Lord. Literally. We just do not bring up God because we are so “spiritually unequal”. Two Christians, yet so completely unequal we cannot talk about the God we both love.
    I know this is hard for many of you to understand. Believe me, if you knew more of the details, it would be easier to understand. I’m trying to make this short.
    My request: Lately I’ve been so beat down, I’ve run out of strength to continue. Daily I face a spiritual warfare in my home. Daily I try to be the strongest, most uplifting person my two children will encounter each day. Daily I try to love my husband and find a way to respect him. That is the hardest part for me lately. I’ve prayed for so many YEARS for things to change. I’ve run out of hope. I doubt God will do it. I know He can, I just wonder if this is just His will for my marriage. And I try to just accept what my marriage is and chose to be happy with what I have. It’s just so hard.
    It’s hard to live out my faith when I’m constantly feeling judged. It’s hard to talk openly with my kids when my husband is around.
    Please just pray for me. Pray for strength to continue. Pray I will have the desire to pray for a renewed love for my husband, because lately, I just don’t care any more. I need God to give me a new heart attitude about my marriage.
    Thank you in advance.
    Jenny

    Reply
  71. Kathy Marshall Avatar
    Kathy Marshall

    I am so happy to have found your website! I stumbled upon it while ordering a bible study book for church. Anyway, I’ve been married for 15 years. I grew up in church and accepted Jesus as my savior when I was 9. I totally knew better than to marry and unbeliever,, but met my husband while under complete rebellion and thought he would “change” and that I could change him. He was raised Catholic and is trapped in religious tradition but doesn’t “practice” or go to church ever.
    We have 2 sweet children who have both professed salvation and have been baptized in our church. They go to a wonderful Christian school where they are taught God’s word daily. I have the privilege to work at the school along side supportive Godly women.
    My husband used to fight our church attendance and at first was very resistant of the kids going to a Christian school, but little by little he is softer to my faith. He says he will NEVER be one of “those” Christians, but I know God has other plans for him. He is angry with me for “separating our family” and “tricking” him. He doesn’t understand the unconditional forgiveness and love our Heavenly Father freely gives and I am a sorry witness most days. I daily fight anger and resentment for my choice, but I love my husband and our precious family and continue to trust His plan.
    I plan to pray for this ministry and hurting spouses daily. Thank you Lynn and Dineen for the open window into your own lives!

    Reply
  72. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Oh Kathy,
    You are so beautiful and I'm thrilled your found our family here. You are
    among friends and many are walking the path you are on right now. You are
    not alone. It's wonderful that your kids are in Christian school. Pray
    protection around them daily. And your husband. Let the power of the Lord
    come upon him in such a way, that he is forever changed in Jesus name. Lord,
    reveal, restore, bring healing and hope to the home of Marshall. This hour.
    For your glory. Let Kathy's light shine so bring that thousands find Jesus
    because of her love. I ask for this house to stand under the banner of the
    love of Christ. In King Jesus name. Amen.

    Reply
  73. Kathy Avatar
    Kathy

    Thank you for your encouragement Lynn!
    I plan to pray on my husband in the night for the coming weeks. I’m a hard sleeper so hopefully God will wake me too 🙂

    Reply
  74. Leah Avatar
    Leah

    Hi Anne,
    would like to exchange emails with you – leah.gander@gmail.com Thanks

    Reply
  75. anne Avatar
    anne

    Hi Leah. I just sent you an email. anne

    Reply
  76. Marina Avatar
    Marina

    I accidentally stumbled upon your website while searching for something. I am married and have four children. I married my husband while he was still in the world. He was converted, but I can’t see spiritual growth as he seldom read his Bible and still curse and lie a lot. We differ about important things like where the children must go to in high school. He took our firstborn out of the christian school into a state school. The raising of Godly character children seems not important to him. I really feel that I am wasting my time further, as we actually have nothing in commin. I absolutely love my Abba and get up at 3H30 in the morning to spend some quiet time with Him. I want to be in ministry for Him and spread the gospel and are very much frustrated at being halted. The children also seem to take after their dad and have a lot of idols (phone, tv, etc) in their lives. Can you give me some Godly advise?

    Reply
  77. Keyara King Avatar
    Keyara King

    Hi I’m Keyara King and Rosheeda is my cousin. I found this site searching for her obituary, and I’m so glad I did. The things you ladies talk about are so intriguing, I will definitely be visiting more.

    Reply
  78. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Keyara, My friend. I'm so glad you found us. We welcome you with open arms
    and especially as a sister in Christ with Rosheeda. We love her very much
    and miss her desperately. Pull up a chair, enjoy a few minutes in this
    community because we love God and we love people. Hugs, and welcome. Lynn

    Reply
  79. Hanna Avatar
    Hanna

    Stumbled upon this site last night after a very discouraging conversation with my husband. He’s a Christian but on the edge of saying that he doesn’t believe in God anymore. I am scared and confused right now so it is nice to see that I’m not alone. I know I can always go back here for support. You ladies truly are an encouragement to me right now. Thanks for doing this!

    Reply
  80. Agness Avatar
    Agness

    Iam Agness,stumbled this just today as i was serching if there is a dangeous prayer one can pray for a change in sitiuation,been married for 3 yrs and husband was unfaithful i had my share in the problems that destroyed our marriage because of anger,but after reading the bible and some advises from my pastor he told me i shld not accept to sign the divorce letter,and i told my husband about it and he said where was God all this time when the marriage was breaking,and he dont want to hear my God stories and all that he is going to continue with his divorce process,Ladies please help,and put me in ur prayers,i believe God is a wonder miracle God and he can turn things overnight.Stand with me am a born again xtian.

    Reply
  81. Carrie B Avatar
    Carrie B

    Hi ladies,
    Been a “lurker” on this site for a while but now signed in as a member.
    You know the story – I’m a Christian who couldn’t wait so married the first guy that came along. That ended in an affair (mine), an abortion and divorce and then marrying another non-Christian (Durrr!).
    Whilst I adore my second husband, he is so loving and kind, there are key issues where we don’t agree because of my renewed faith in God. It’s caused lots of tensions and almost divorce on a number of occasions. We’ve hurt each other a lot.
    I’ve been praying for him to know God for some years now but poor chap only has me as a witness and I’m not a great shining example as he has pointed out to me on occasions.
    Anyway, wanted to say Hi and to thank you for this site because it encourages me to keep on pressing in in prayer for him to know God fr himself and that I’m not the only one going through the mill on issues that arise because we are spiritually mismatched
    Thanks Ladies

    Reply
  82. Ofelia Avatar
    Ofelia

    I’ve been looking for spiritual resources via Focus on the Family site about spiritually mismatch marriage when God directed me to your book “Winning Him Without a Word”. (And oh by the way, I think the might be a hit because I have to wait weeks since it was on a back -order). I have just started reading it and I already see myself in Lynn. And I do believe that God made a way so I can read this book in order to affirm His purpose and perfect will in my marriage.
    My boyfriend for 5 years (now my husband) is known to me that he is an Agnostic about God. On our first part of dating, sin of fornication has made me realize that it is drawing me away from God. When I finally surrendered my life to God and been baptized, I broken up with my boyfriend because I cannot continue sinning and made a requirement to myself that I have to be married to enjoy the gift that God give to His united man and woman. I know that it is God not my boyfriend I cannot live without.
    I went through agony with our break-up and consulted my feelings to God like a little child. I asked God, that if my boyfriend is not the right person for me, that He will heal my pain. But if God has plan for me and my boyfriend to be together in marriage, that God will return my boyfriend to me. I have been praying for my boyfriend that he will meet a Spiritual instrument for him to know God. After 6 months of no communication, I was ready to move on when my boyfriend re-appeared in my life and asked me to be his wife.
    I accepted him although, I know He is not saved yet. God impressed to me that I am the one through our marriage whom God will use as a Spiritual instrument.
    It’s been a year now since we got married and my husband attended church with me only once. He attends several of our Bible studies but, he is not convinced yet to surrender his life to God. At first, we argue about that it, but God says do not try to change your husband, I will change Him, do not say any words, just silently pray. I obey God.
    I go to church alone and surrounded by married couples, at first I felt envious, but I pray that God will change my heart and perspective. I continue to pray for God’s perfect will in my husband’s life and in our marriage and said that no matter what, I will wait for God promises. The more I pray, the more God instill hope and trust in my heart. I continue to ask for His direction on how I can be used as light and salt, and make me as a blessing to my husband. That through me, may my husband can feel and experience the love of God that he is missing out.
    I avoid not to argue with my husband anymore but let him feel that he is accepted and loved no matter what. And most of all, I would like to win my husband to God without a word.
    God bless,
    Ofelia

    Reply
  83. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    TypePad HTML Email
    Oh my friend, I’m so glad you found us here at SUM. You are among friends who will walk this journey with you. Your story is amazing and I know God has big plans for you and surely for your husband. Welcome to one of the most amazing communities on the internet.  You are HOME… We love you and God is already at work in your life. Woo Hoo. Hugs, Lynn 

    Reply
  84. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

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    Hi Carrie B. My friend, I just want to throw my arm around you in a big bear hug. Welcome home. You have found a family, a community, who knows exactly how you feel and who will walk you through your marriage challenges. You are among those who love God and love people. We are so glad you found us. Jump in and read and walk with us. We are headed for glory and we believe in the future salvation of our spouses. Love you already, Lynn 

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  85. Sareta Avatar
    Sareta

    Praise the Lord to this site…. I found you from a friends post on FB. I’ve been married a year, I had a long distance relationship for 2 years, I saw what I wanted to see I left my state CA, relocated to TX left my church we attended church together dating but not since our marriage. I was very involved in my church and I believe in my marriage vows but it’s hard and gets harder I have yet to find a church after attending many this site and the reading material has given me hope… I’ve felt lost and distant from God. I have already read Mission Impossible, and I am currently reading Winning Him without words…. I have no friends here in this very small town there are days I just want to disappear…Love and hugs to you all… Pray greatly appreciated

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  86. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

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    Praying for you my friend. We love you and I want to tell you that you CAN do this. And we will cover you and ask for friends to find you in your town. In Jesus name. Change everything today for Sareta. Help her to KNOW you are with her. Take her to people in her town who can walk with her. Fill her with Your Presence and love and bind the enemy from lies. In King Jesus name. Amen. 

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  87. Sareta Avatar
    Sareta

    Thank You Thank You Thank you Lynn, I’m excited to get my grove back with the Lord and very excited to have this place to go and that you took the time to write and pray for me I greatly appreciate it…. Blessing to you this site and all who visit and use this as a life line…. Love to everyone

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  88. Beth A Avatar
    Beth A

    Hi all, I’m so blessed to have found this site! I’m so blessed to have a name for what I’ve been living the last 21 years – “spiritually unequal”. God powerfully saved me the same year we were married. Ever since, I have loved Him with all my being.
    My dear husband was supposedly saved as a child. But in an amazing conversation we had 2 months ago, he admitted that he’s never been close to God, didn’t understand what it meant to have a relationship with God, has never had a desire to pursue God, doesn’t enjoy worship or reading the living word, doesn’t care about the lost or God’s kingdom, doesn’t want to talk about Jesus or share the gospel with others. He said he doesn’t know if he wants to want these things, because he’s afraid of “losing his identity”. It was the first time he was able to articulate these thoughts, answered so many of my questions, and allowed me to see him with more compassion.
    We have six dear children (4 boys, 2 girls) that we homeschool. They range from 18 to 6yo. I poured so much out for our oldest son (who loves Jesus and has just finished his 2nd year in college). But I have gotten SO WEARY, and this road is SO LONELY, that I find myself constantly fighting depression. My husband has been in church his whole life and knows so much about the Bible. But it leaves our kids with so many questions, that I’d rather he say he wasn’t a Christian at all.
    About 2 years ago I prayed a desperate prayer to know God more. As He showed me more of Himself and the gospel, I was getting so high on the LORD, which was a huge turn-off for my husband, but a huge turn-on to the pastor of our small home-fellowship church, who also happened to be my husband’s best friend and the husband of my best friend. Long story short, in our ignorance, a mutual attraction developed (initially encouraged by our spouses) which ultimately resulted in broken hearts, the severing of multiple relationships, and the closing of that church. It was probably the most humiliating and acutely painful thing I’ve ever experienced.
    I don’t want to dishonor my LORD! I love Him so much! I want to be Jesus to these precious ones He has given me! I want to finish the race strong! But I am SO TIRED and no one here understands what living this is like. I hope that makes sense. Thank you so much for your ministry! Please pray for our family.

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  89. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Hi Beth!
    My friend, I’m so glad God led you here. He has a purpose and a plan for you and all you have walked through. God not only redeems us, He redeems everything in our lives! It’s an amazing journey as you already know. Yes, this mismatched walk is lonely at times and can make us weary. That’s why it’s crucial we keep our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith and keep our hope placed firmly in Him because He never disappoints us.
    Beth, the hunger we feel for Jesus comes from Him. He does that in us so pray and ask Jesus to put that hunger in your husband. Pray it over him as he sleeps, as he walks out the door to go to work, during the day, etc. You get my drift. God will awaken that longing for eternity that He places in us in your husband’s heart.
    God will bring healing too. I hope you’ll consider joining our 1Peter3Living Yahoo group (the link is in the sidebar). It’s a great place for prayer and encouragement. The enemy wants you to think you’re alone but you aren’t! God is always with you and He has brought this amazing community of SUMites together to uphold and encourage each other. See how God’s plan and provision are already unfolding for you? He knows your needs, my friend. Know that you are deeply loved by HIm and sincerely loved and supported by this community. Hugging you tight with love and prayers!

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  90. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Hi! I am so thankful to have heard you on Dr. Dobson! After fasting for 2 1/2 days, during our recent revival, for my hubby, I was very discouraged. He did not even come to 1 service! I was ready to give up and quit praying for him. In fact, I was on the way home from church, crying and praying, telling God I was finished with him…if he wanted to go to hell then it was his decision, I was tired. As soon as I prayed, I turned on the radio, and here you were, talking about the unsaved spouse. When we married, 22 years ago, we were both away from God. Three years later, I gave my life to Jesus. It has been a struggle ever since. I am so glad to have heard you on the broadcast! I’m hanging on…

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  91. Sarah Jones Avatar
    Sarah Jones

    Just finished listening to your broadcast with Dr.Dobson from last week and I am in love with you ladies. We celebrated 5 years of marriage in which 4 1/2 have been mismatched. I know from listening to you ladies that I definitely handle things in the wrong way, but I know it is never to late to start winning him over without words. He does surprise me and come to church with me when he gets a sunday off and he supports my walk with the Lord, but it has taken me some years to realize that my home is priority and God wants me to be there serving my family. I am a devoted church member and sometimes I know it doesn’t go over well with my husband so I try to make time for special date nights to let my husband know I love him dearly. We have struggled with infertility for 5 years and had a failed IVF back in February which really threw us for a loop, but we are hanging on to hope. I do have a 12 year old stepson who is headed down the wrong path. Being my husband is not a Christian he is not convicted in areas that I am. He allows his son to listen to rap music with vulgar language and thinks nothing of it. He has no chores, he is very disrespectful and it gets very discouraging because it is like my husband has no back bone to discipline and he doesn’t have Jesus Christ on his side to help him parent in the right way. Any advice on this issue would be great. Thank you for your ministry.

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  92. Sherri barker Avatar
    Sherri barker

    Hi , this past week I finished your book on winning him without words. The book was real encourgement to me. Prayer for my husband he need lord in his life. We have been married for 33 years, he never stopped be from going to church or taking our two boys and I’m so thankful for that. The kids are out on there own now with there family both attend church, that is a praise. MY god bless you both for this book and your continue work. Thank you Sherri

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  93. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

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    Hi Sherri, I’m so glad you found this amazing community of believers. My friend, we KNOW, I KNOW exactly how you are feeling and all that you have had to walk through. Take heart because around here, we have breakthroughs and God shows up and shows off in our lives. He changes everything. Us our homes, kids, even spouses. I love you and am so glad to welcome you to the most amazing family. Love, Lynn 

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  94. Daniela Avatar
    Daniela

    Hi. I got so much strenght from this website over the last couple of months, thank you! My husband of 11 years used to be a christian but in recent years lost his faith (or never really met jesus?…) we’ve got a little 2 years old girl. Summer a year ago he cheated on me twice. I was absolutely devasteted but we tried to work through it. A bit more than half a year later the subject arised again and i realised, that i havent properly worked it through. This summer he left home for a month and lifed by himself, wanting to find out wether he wanted to stay or not. After some holidays, which we’ve already booked things really looked up. He also confesed some other things to me so i would really know the truth and where i stand… I can see that this wasnt easy and that he did it coz he wants to make it work. The problem is he seems not to b able to commit a 100%. Some days/weeks i can feel him being really distant. Which makes me very insecure… But talking bout it makes it worse- he then keeps saying that it puts us back to square one. I find it really hard coz i so want it to work, for our girl, but also for me/us. Im so very scared, this last year has been the most awful time ever. I love him. Do i just love him through all his uncertanty and trust God? Im so scared to fall again like last time coz i didnt have a clue…but i dont wanna b too needy trying to make everything perfect for him.i really do need ur prayers and the’re so appreciated!,,

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  95. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

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    HI Daniela, My friend, my heart aches for you. The pain and the fear. My sister, may I say that your marriage can be healed but because your husband doesn’t want to talk about your pain and help you heal, you won’t. I beg you today or tomorrow, call a Christian counselor (Focus on the Family can help) and have someone help you through all of this. Your husband must take more ownership over your marriage and meet you MORE than half way. You need to read some good books by Christian authors on how to reestablish trust after infidelity. It takes a great effort and your husband must be committed to restoration more than 100%. I’m praying for you. God hears your prayers and that’s why He brought you to us. We will love on you and pray for you and God will never leave you. He will never forsake you. Holding you in His grip… and I’m praying In King Jesus name. Amen. 

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  96. Daniela Avatar
    Daniela

    Thank you.could u recommend a book? I have been seeing a counseler but need to set a date with her again. What do i do if my husband doesnt want to/ or struggles with commiting 100%? He also says he doesnt know who he is and has very deep thoughts. If i were to tell him i need him totally commited(which i sort of have) he’ll most likely freak out and leave for feeling under pressure…
    Another thing is that each time i shared something unpleasant with him, it feels like its all gonna fall apart. But i experienced a couple of times that after a while he takes a step towards me… He would need a counseller but he doesnt want to, eg we tried twice and both times it was strange and akward.
    Sometimes its very hard to get him, hes a very creative and deep person who questions everyone and everything a couple of times each day…i think there are quite a few days when hes only here coz of our daughter…
    Thanx for ur prayers
    Do u think that some things are better if i work through them just with my counseller? Coz our relationship feels so fragile at the mo..

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  97. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

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    HI D, These questions you are asking are great questions. I think you should print this comment out and take it with you to your counselor. There is much work to be done and your counselor can help you to set up the road way to travel. I’m praying God’s favor, love and protection over you and that you would press deeply into His love. Read His Word often, several times a day and pray seeking truth and revelation. I pray for your heart. In King Jesus name. Amen. 

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  98. Ty Avatar
    Ty

    SUM crew and community,
    After a quick glance, I want to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
    As a man who was literally prayed to Jesus by a Christian wife (and some other family members, I’m learning), I can absolutely guarantee you there is no greater gift a husband can receive from his wife. Nothing else even comes close. I’m alive now, in Jesus, and there’s no doubt that prayer has led the way.
    God can do anything, so follow your hearts in Christ. Keep bringing the Kingdom!
    My prayers go out to you all.

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  99. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

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    Thank you Ty for writing these words. This is one of the best things I have ever heard, read.  You have no idea how this encourages me or encourages other spouses who are faithfully praying.  I’m asking the God of the universe to richly bless you with all provision and a fire to live with courage and adventure. That God would reward your work and family. That mostly you would be filled with His Presence and see the signs and wonders. In King Jesus name. Amen. 

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  100. Caralee Avatar
    Caralee

    I am so thankful for your posts! I look forward to them and am encouraged each time. My sister gave me your book “Winning Him Without Words” and there are 5 of us doing it as a study. Yesterday morning I ‘surrendered’ my husband and marriage to God instead of ‘committing’ him as I always do. A few hours later my husband packed his bag and moved out. You really should put a disclaimer on that word! Even though I am still in shock, I am confident that God is working in my husband’s heart. We have been married for 32 years, and I came back to The Lord a year ago and he has changed my entire being. Obviously my husband needs prayer, but I am also praying for God’s guidance for me… what now? What does he want me to do NOW? I am 52 years old, haven’t worked in many years, but need to start thinking about that again. I appreciate your prayers, and I will continue to pray blessing on you both and your work. Thank you.

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  101. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Caralee,
    In Jesus name I declare your heart is His. I declare you are protected and have provision. I pray for your marriage and your broken heart. I ask the Lord to move in your life with powerful miracles and that you will forever proclaim the power and love of our Lord. In King Jesus name. Amen

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  102. Melissa Martin Avatar
    Melissa Martin

    Hey Vanessa
    How are you doing Sweet? You’ve come to the right place to connect with other women in your same position; me included. My Mum has just put me onto a great resource that I’m wanting to give a go of. It’s called environment changer by Larry Bilotta. Here’s a link to a video that explains what it’s about. If you gave it a go I think it involves getting together in small groups to discuss your marriage and practical tasks… I’m not fully certain of all that it involves but it looks good. And it’s all without a word to your husband!! http://www.top20questions.com/women/
    “LIke the flight attendants say – put your own mask on first”
    As for your kids, they are lucky enough to have eyes of a child – they can see the truth of Jesus when He lives through you!!
    Be encouraged Sweetheart, you’re in good hands here.
    Love and Blessings
    Melissa (wife of pre-christian Andrew)

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  103. Rachel C. Avatar
    Rachel C.

    I have been in a very distraught and weary state for a good month now. My heart feels broken and I’ve never felt more lost and alone in all my life. I truly don’t know which way to go or what is going on. I don’t even know how I happened upon your sight, but it seems to be the very support I have been looking for. I married my best friend 15 years ago and we have been together for 23 years. We since had 2 beautiful children and our lives have been a series of one trial after another. My husband was a Christian when I married him, and but not a practicing Christian if that makes since, and so was I – though I tended to practice my faith a good bit more, but this was ok. Over the years my faith has grown and there was a time when his was growing and then BAM, so suddenly he became an unbeliever, almost overnight. To shorten a very long story, he contacted a bacterial meningitis last year in the form of an abscess in his spine that spread to his brain stem. He had emergency brain and cervical surgery and has made a miraculous recovery. During that time, God answered EVERY SINGLE prayer almost immediately. My faith was strengthened and I thought my husband’s was too…until he realized that the infection left him with some brain damage (he can’t retain information for long, his memory is shot, and he just doesn’t understand things in his career that used to come so easy to him). He also realized the 12″ incision made on his neck would be the cause of a lot of constant pain he would have to learn to live with. He realized he can’t do the career he used to as well and so he feels helpless,useless, a loser…Because of this he became angry with God…his question being why would HE allow him to live through that infection if all he was intended to be was broken and useless. Quickly those thoughts turned into a fury where he eventually decided he didn’t believe in God, in Jesus, the bible or anything related. He refers to God as “your God of the Gospel”. He makes no doubt that he is lost and shortly before making his declaration to me, he told me he felt lost and didn’t like the person he had become. When he does talk about “my God of the Gospel”, the angry tone in his voice scares me. He gets so angry that it almost seems directed at me. It hurts me that he’s come to this, that he can’t seem to see the light. I know this is going to sound crazy, but it almost seems as if the devil himself speaks through him. This is not the person I’ve known for 23 years. How do I respond to someone like this? He says many times he wants me as his friend not his wife, but that I don’t know how to be that. I’ve tried so hard to be there for him, but so many times he pushes me away anyway with all this anger he has. He says I’m a fool for believing in the bible. He’s always had an eye for the negative and he’s suffered depression all the years I’ve known him. I’ve prayed for my husband to turn to God and give himself to him in order to enter the light of God’s grace. Fearfully and sadly, I don’t know how to be in this marriage and I’m so scared that it’s all collapsing in front of my eyes. I’ve begged God to unite us together in peace and happiness, but it only seems to have gotten worse. I know God has a plan that I may never understand and I respect and want his will for our lives. I’m so afraid and so alone. I hope and pray I can find something here. thank you for opening up this forum for troubled spouses.

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  104. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

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    Rachel, I’m brokenhearted for you. I have a few things to share and I want to do that privately. So watch for a separate email from me. Hugs, Lynn 

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  105. Kim Hudson Avatar
    Kim Hudson

    Hello…My name is Kim Hudson…I am in a marriage where we are BOTH believers and were raised in the church but, I am CLOSE to God and he appears to be FAR from God. We met in July of 2008 after both of us going through terrible separations and divorces. We married in July of 2009…we have 3 grown children…my son and his
    2 daughters…my son is married and his oldest daughter is married …the younger daughter is single and recently out of college …working from home on her first job…she still lives with her Mom. We have 1 Granddaughter and are expecting another Granddaughter in May 2014 by his Daughter and Husband. I prayed to God that IF I married a 2nd time…I would marry a practicing believer…my husband was saved in my home while we were dating and baptized but, he no longer attends church with me and socially…he goes out with his friends…local casino …gambling and fishing with his buddies. We agreed when we married that neither of us needed another MOMA or DADDY…that we were grown adults and could come and go as we pleased. Early in our dating and marriage, we were almost constantly together (Honeymoon phase) and then, things spiraled…my Mother passed away unexpectedly in Feb. 2010…just 7 months after we married …leaving me (an only child) to care for my sick father. We discussed placing him in a nursing home…but, me being a nurse…we decided and agreed that I would stay at home with him…we even moved in with him to care for him…from Feb. 2010 to August 2012 (when he passed away). He was under HOSPICE care that last year that he lived. Because of Dads’ illness and HOSPICE helping us…I drew closer to GOD. My husband seemed to but ??? We stayed in the family home until Sept. 2013…when we moved to a rental home and are currently still residing there…Life has been hard for us during our marriage but, GOD has been GOOD and helped us through the difficult days. I went back to work (as a nurse in an Assisted Living Facility) in Dec. 2012 and continue to work there FT on 2nd shift …my husband is on 1st shift…we discussed the shift differences and he agreed it was ok…that we would spend time together when I have days OFF…which is usually WED., THURS., every other SAT. and SUN. But, he has found other things to do with his friends lately…:( When he went to O’Harrahs Casino a couple of weeks ago..he drew $$$ out of joint bank account…which made it difficult financially the past few weeks. I went this past Payday (for me) and opened up my OWN account at a different bank. I work too hard for my $$$ to be gambled away. He also has a hobby of fishing…a boat and numerous rods & reels and other equipment. So, needless to say …his hobbies are costly and not GOD related and I want NO part of gambling…I do enjoy a boat ride occasionally and like to fish (off the pier at the beach). Please PRAY for us…I spoke with my Pastor and his wife…they are praying for us and offred to come and visit us but, my husband says ” I want NO part of counseling…I want NO one to know my business, but, you have probably told everyone and they are against me now”. I have told a select few…a friend of mine at work loaned me your book to read…winning him without words…I am reading it and enjoying it.
    I know GOD is able to heal and restore us…but, I do not want to go on in this unhappy and unequal marriage…also, he informed me this past week…”I will be moving out in 2 – 3 weeks”…PRAY.
    Sincerely, Kim Hudson
    Lincolnton, NC

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  106. Veronica Avatar
    Veronica

    Hi all I am a born again woman.I am married to unbeliever…Our marriage didnt start well..first theree fights with the in laws(mother in law to be specific they couldnt let eachother go)then the disagreements almost over everything ,and lastly my trust in God..I remember dragging my husband to church only him to come back and say its a cult…well i decided to start going alone he later joined me then i got busy with work..Just when all was ok he started joining me to the church he would interact with the church members but then whenever we had a fight he would go(behind my back) and report me there so i just i stopped going to that church,because i felt embarassed, i honestly couldnt take it anymore.I havent been to a church for along time,and despite my unbelieving husband asking me when we are going to church i just dont want to go our previous church because i feel that everyone knows what went on with us.He has lied so many times,he doesnt do what he says(and i honestly tell him that his words always mean nothing.But i must say God has remained faithful..My husband can say a grace before eating,recently when while in bed i started praying then went on silent mode(prayed within me)he was like why cant i hear what you are praying about.I am not good with forgiving and forgetting..i always tend to bring it up whenever we fight…Especially in the areas i have felt he has let me down as the man in my life.(I have a sharp tounge which the Lord reminded from proverbs how we as humans sharpen eachother like iron)its an area that i want to work on..To speak words that bring only life(Its hard to do it alone but with the Holy Spirit i know i can).We are struggling with inferlity(i sometimes get so angry both at the Lord and my husband because i just dont understand why the Lord would allow this despite Him assuring me through His Word that i will have children especially when i know that i come from a very fertile family where none has ever suffered from infertility…I recently bought your book WINNING HIM WITHOUT WORDS which am enjoying I will let you know how it goes.
    …GOD BLESS.VERONICA

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  107. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

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    Hi Veronica, My sister, I’m glad you found this amazing community. You will find people here who love and you can learn a lot from those who are ahead of you on the journey. My friend, two things just pulled at my heart as I read this comment. I ask you to hear them as though Jesus is speaking to you. You are loved. Jesus has missed you at church and asks you to find a new church body. They will help you in your marriage. Press into the Word. The Word of God will transform you. Get a Daily bible and read it every day and then pray. That is the beginning of peace and change in your marriage. It starts with you my friend. And when you fall deeply in love with Jesus the marriage becomes easier. Love you so much, Lynn 

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  108. Alycia Avatar
    Alycia

    My husband and myself married well before I received Christ. I grew up in Church but my husband has no point of reference. After we were married for awhile I recieved Christ and started to seek Him and study and praise and worship Him in and out the home. It is very tough with the strife in our marriage but in the midst of him yelling and screaming about one thing or another I am in my spirit praying and singing. There has been Infidelity, children outside the marriage and yelling and screaming in the midnight hour. We were working thru the infidelity and I have forgiven him although I am unable to emotionally accept the children into my home, but he is suffering under and tremendous load of guilt that spews out venom when he is overwhelmed by it. I have been able to do everything thru Christ who strenghens me, but now he is accusing me of unfaithfulness and I am very careful about who I am around. Although I walk in forgive-ness he says that he is unable to stay where he can’t trust me. Right now I want him to leave since this is what he indicated that he wanted, but he is really not going anywhere so the atmosphere is very heavy. I am praying the scriptures and anointing my home but I really don’t even want to talk to him right now. For years I have been by grace, loving him, taking care of his home and his children. Serving him even when he really didn’t deserve my turning the other cheek and is totally unappreciative. I know that I am developing everyday the fruit of long suffering but I feel very weary in my spirit right now. All while working in a competative IT position in a large company.
    I feel very lonely and I do love him but I don’t want to live with this pain. I don’t believe that he feels worthy of forgive-ness. I try to explain to him that it is only thru the grace of God that I can walk in forgive-ness, nothing in my own flesh. Of course since he does not understand the things of God he cannot get past the fact that I wouldnt get back at him by doing exactly what he has done. There is no physical abuse, but both of us are suffering with emotional abuse. And he is very verbal. I don’t want him to be dead in sin even if he ever follows thru on his threats of leaving I still want him to be whole and walking in the promises of God.
    Yours in Christ

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  109. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

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    My heart breaks for you my sister Alycia. My friend, perhaps you are reaching out to me at this time because God has heard your prayers and He says, “Enough.” I ask you to find a counselor to help you. God never intended His children to be a continually companion to long suffering. The emotional abuse must stop. Please, please talk to a pastor, a Christian counselor, get into  Celebrate Recovery group. You need a set of eyes and ears to help you place boundaries into your marriage that are healthy and loving. You can also contact a counselor at Focus on the Family. God loves you and your children, even your husband. But there is emotional healing from his past that needs to be dealt with and you need healing too. God’s atmosphere is peace. He wants that for you. I pray in Jesus name that all circumstances come together right now in your life that push you forward and into help and healing. For your entire family. I pray salvation and love over you and your home. In Jesus name. Amen. 

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  110. KB Avatar
    KB

    Dear Lynn,
    I was dating an unsaved person for many years.But have decided not to marry him. Your website has served as a timely warning to me. I love him deeply, but I can’t put both of us through the pain of a SUM. I will continue to pray for his salvation. God bless you Sis!

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  111. Maile Avatar
    Maile

    I have been so blessed by everything I have read on this site. I read “Winning Him Without Words” about a year ago and that’s how I found the site and the Yahoo group. I have turned to both only in times of desperation since then but yesterday I felt led to really commit to this SUMite community. I have tried desperately to reach out to other Spiritually Unequal women in my area but I always come up feeling quite alone because either there are no such women here or they are to ashamed or broken to even speak up. But I am going to continue to press forward.
    My husband, Josh and I have been married for almost 10 years. He said once that he didn’t believe in God but that seems to have changed. He may believe but he isn’t a big fan of God at this time. Since I began to pray and have others pray for his salvation he has changed in many small ways. He even reminds our 2 children to pray before they eat and if I am not home at bedtime he leads them in a “Now I lay me down to sleep” prayer sometimes. Satan sees these changes and seems to have doubled his efforts to keep Josh in bondage. But I am not afraid to pray “Whatever it takes”.
    I ask for this community to pray for us and I commit to pray for you.
    God bless you all and Merry Christmas!

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  112. Lynn Donovan Avatar
    Lynn Donovan

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    Maile, I’m so glad you have decided to press into this community. Even though we are online, amazing things can happen when we are joined by the Holy
    Spirit on the web. I want to make sure that you join us when we all fast together the week of January 5th. Breakthroughs always happen and it’s such a sweet time with God. Stick with this family and you will live in hope and joy. And Jesus meets all of us. Love you much. Lynn 

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  113. Kristen Beetley Avatar
    Kristen Beetley

    I have been looking for a group like this. I’m so glad I finally found you. I’m looking forward to all the encouragement I can get here. I have a long story… Mostly of my own sin…. But anyway I am married to a loving unbeliever. He goes to church sometimes and ashes with the most of the morals of Christianity but he didn’t really believe. I think he just thinks it’s not for him. In church, sometimes when he goes, I can see the conviction eating at him. He looks like he is being tortured. Please pray God opens his eyes and softens his heart…. That He gives him understanding. This is the desire of my heart.

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  114. Lynn Donovan Avatar
    Lynn Donovan

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    Hi my friend, And so glad you found us. You have a warm and welcoming home here on the web. Join the community let us love on you let Jesus love on you. You will find you will not just survive, but you will, indeed, Thrive. Love you, Lynn 

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  115. Carolyn Avatar
    Carolyn

    I’m writing on a cold and windy central new york afternoon hoping this ministry is still alive and thriving. All posts that I can see are from over a year ago.
    I am a 45 year old christian wife, mother of 4, and stepmother of 2. Ages range from 24 – 4 years old. My husband is an unbeliever and I try to be faithful in my prayers for him but like much in my life I lose focus, get distracted, and fall short of my hopes for myself. If you could respond with a short something I would very much like to send a handwritten letter to you for your prayers.
    Thank you, Carolyn

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  116. Carolyn Avatar
    Carolyn

    I see now that my tablet updated all posts to very recent ones and am super thankful to know I am now able to be a part of this community. I will be sending a letter asap but would ask for prayer for myself, m family, & my husband of course. My husband and I have been married since 2008 & have been through separation, alcohol and drug abuse, rebellious teenagers, and the list goes on….. The glory goes to God alone for the fact that we are still together and closer than ever. Unfortunately there is a great deal that we still must overcome including our past divorces and all that that means to both of us and our children as well as 3 boys with disabilities. I think daily that “If only” he were a believer how much closer we would be and how much more we could do with and for our children. I get very weary and sad feeling as if I’m fighting these battles alone. Thank you so much for continuing to be available for those of us that pray and search and struggle with these struggles.
    In His Grace,
    Carolyn

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  117. Lynn Donovan Avatar
    Lynn Donovan

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    In the name of Jesus I declare that Carolyn is now lifted to a new place in the heavenly realms. That Jesus, you now move with power in her life those of her family. Defeat and rebuke the darkness and reveal your love and divine destiny to each of them. In the powerful name above all names, Jesus. Amen. 

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  118. Lynn Donovan Avatar
    Lynn Donovan

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    Carolyn, glad you found us and I hope you subscribed to our emails. Our ministry is active and alive and moving in the power of the Holy Spirit and claiming the unsaved for the Kingdom. Amen. 

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