King David’s Heart Was Like a Pitcher
By Martha Bush
I know you were blessed as much as I was by the Summer Bible Study that all the writers wrote
on the Psalms.
On the first day, Lynn caught my attention with these words: “Within the Psalms, (written mostly by King David) we discover this amazing relationship between him and God. It’s raw and vulnerable and honest. There are times I think King David was bipolar, as his emotions are
recorded as very low and then exceedingly high.” (Summer Study of the Psalms)
The fact that David was raw vulnerable and honest in his emotions is the things that led me (Martha) to filling hundreds of pages in journals over the years as I tried to sort through my own emotions. David, a man after God’s own heart, taught me lessons I tried to pass on to others when I taught The Grieving Process as they walked the path of emotional healing.
How well I remember the story of Maria (not her real name) I met years ago.
Her story goes like this:
Maria told of the turmoil she had lived in with her mother for years. Even though they lived hundreds of miles apart, there was a constant battle going on between them.
Maria described the toll that bitterness had taken on her body. She would sit for hours gazing into space, completely lost to reality around her. She described how her stomach felt like it was tied up in knots. Big red whelps popped out all over her body. Blood streamed down her arms and legs as she dug her fingernails into her skin trying to find relief from the itching on her body.
This hatred grew to the point that she actually planned ways she could secretly drive to the city her mother lived in, murder her, and return home without being caught. “I hate her, I hate her!”
Maria screamed loudly. (Yeah, go ahead and gasp; I did)
And then almost in a whisper, Maria concluded her story with, “I am a Christian and I know I am not supposed to be having feelings like these. When I am in prayer, I don’t express my feelings of hate to God. If I don’t express them in prayer, He won’t know how I feel, will He?”
Talking about raw emotions, but Maria had them. I finally got myself together and realized it wasn’t the time to talk to her about “Forgiveness.” But I also knew I had to help her find out how to get a handle on the emotional state of mind she was in.
And so it was, for the next few weeks, I met with Maria. On our first meeting, I gently said to her: “Maria, I’ll let you in on a little secret. The God who created you knows everything about you. He gave emotions to you to serve as a gauge to let you know when something is right or wrong. So, you might as well be honest and confess them; He knows anyway. And then we
began our study in the Psalms with David and his emotions.
David was honest with God: Psalm 142:1-2 David states: I poured out my complaint before Him; I showed before Him my trouble. It appears as though David viewed his heart as a pitcher filled with both positive and negative emotions. Throughout the Psalms, we see him emptying his pitcher. (his heart)
* Anger: Break their teeth, Lord. (Psalm 58:6)
* Fear: Deliver me from the evil man. (Psalm 140:1-4)
* Anxiety: Make haste unto me. (Psalm 141:1-4)
* Despair: My heart is sore pained within me. (Psalm 55:4-5)
* Love for God: As the heart panteth after the water brooks, I pant for you. (Psalm 42:1-2)
* Trust in God: The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? (Psalm 27:1-3)
* Joy: You have turned my mourning into dancing for you. (Psalm 30:11)
What happens when we are honest with God about our emotions as David was?
Not only are we expressing our positive emotions to God, but we are also exposing all the dark areas and bringing them to light. Those hidden, unexpressed feelings become dark areas that satan uses to hold us in bondage. God wants us to expose them, tell Him those feelings, and bring them out into the light. He then seizes the opportunity to guide us into ways of dealing with situations in our lives in a Godly manner.
I conclude that “Emotions (feelings) are not wrong; it is what we do with them that involves wrong.”
Personally, some of my most intimate moments with God are when I pour out in my therapeutic journal all my emotions before Him, and then wait in silence for His response to me.
What about you? – Martha
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