I am interrupting my regular posts containing my story.
I am compelled to comment on the Columnist, Harlan Cohen’s; May 3 subject entitled Interfaith couples can find happiness that appeared in our local newspaper, May 6. I found it interesting that a reader, describing herself as a 30-year-old Roman Catholic married to a Sunni Muslim, can easily overcome their spiritual differences in marriage. The reader went on to imply that her children will be “more well-rounded, open-minded and intelligent than those of relationships that you usually give advice.”
What gravely concerns me about this article is the tone that it projects. Planning how to handle holidays, religious teachings, and child rearing can be agreed upon “with deep discussions prior to taking vows.” However, making these agreements rarely keeps an individual from changing or growing in their faith throughout years of marriage. In my own marriage, my beliefs and passion for my faith have grown significantly over the past 14 years. I can tell you with certainty I am not the same person I was when I married my husband. I would not make the same decisions today that I would have made the day I married. We do grow wiser as we grow older!
What troubles me the most with regard to the reader’s letter is the fact that she or her husband find their faith of little importance in their lives. Faith that is personal, strong, and growing overflows into every aspect of an individual’s life. It has in mine. I also take offense that this reader assumes that all other people who don’t agree with her are “prejudiced and intolerant.” Boy, is this getting old….
Marriages with conflicting belief systems are rarely smooth. The good news is, a mismatched marriage can be the best thing that ever happens to your faith. My spiritually unequal marriage propelled me truly understand what I believe.
I am married to a wonderful man who does not share my faith, yet. Nevertheless, I am living a life fully alive and thriving in a marriage that is honest, fulfilling, and beautiful (for both of us) because of my faith.
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