He said to me, “Call me Daddy.”
Gulp!
I sat on the couch on an early morning a few months ago, stunned.
The Holy Spirit speaking these words to me was almost too much. There is no way
I would DARE to call Him – my Lord – Daddy.
What I’m about to share with you is deeply personal and I
may not do a very good job in my explanation. But God has made it clear that I am to disclose this journey I’m on because there are others of you
who need to walk it with me. So, please be patient as my telling may be a bit
disjointed.
I have walked with the Lord for a number of years now. And I
enjoy a very real and vibrant love relationship with Him. It is personal. It is
tender. God is gently correcting. He is firm yet so filled with grace. He
delights in me and sends me tiny love notes continually.
So, you can imagine my surprise since returning from our
time at Bethel that God is calling me to a deeper love relationship. What is
truly surprising is that I didn’t know I could have a deeper love than I
already have. I really believed that I was completely, totally loving my Lord
with all my heart, mind, soul and strength.
But, my Great King has more for me.
And He has more love for you.
So share with me my story and see if the Lord is calling you
to a deeper love relationship.
First, I guess I need to explain why God would ask me to
call Him Daddy. Well, to put it bluntly, I have daddy issues. And now please hear
me. I hold my earthly father in the deepest love and respect.
However, my daddy issues have stood in the way all these
years to the intimacy that God wants for me. Let me explain. My earthly father
is a good man. He was a provider for our family and a great businessman. He was
a believer I think to some degree but I don’t recall much more than Sunday
church attendance in his life. I grew up in a safe and loved atmosphere. But, I
also grew up in a home where little girls weren't always a priority. Okay, I’m just being honest.
The message I received as a child was that I was loved but I
wasn’t cherished. Now for all women reading this, you know what I mean. We as
women, it’s our greatest desire to be cherished above all other people and
things by the significant man in our lives. For the guys reading this, its’
also true that your Father’s treatment of you growing up directly impacts your self-worth.
Now I could go on and on about how my insecurity and daddy
issues affected my decisions as a young woman but that would be boring. But it
is crucial to help you understand how scary it is for me to place a person into
my heart who has that kind of power or to be utterly vulnerable to someone who
could disappoint me or hurt me at my core.
Hang in there. Sheesh, I’m getting personal.
But, for me to name someone Daddy in my heart and mind implies
GIANT connotations. It’s the deepest intimacy I can experience. Because in my
mind my Daddy is my ever-present protector, he is one who wants to twirl with
me in the kitchen. My Daddy, (now get this) He WANTS to listen to me, spend
time with me. He wants to know what upsets me, what makes me giggle, what is
exciting to me and he desires to share my secrets.
Good grief, I promise I don’t need therapy but I realized that
morning that I need a Daddy which is different than a Father. Are you
understanding what I’m saying here?
And as I sat there stunned looking at my prayer journal, I could
NOT write the beginning of my prayer, Good
morning Daddy. I battled within myself to give Him that kind of trust. I
battled with a lifetime of religion that I’m to respect the Lord God
and be reverent in His presence. Which we are but…….
But, here is God, Almighty who is asking me to crossover to
Him into a new intimacy and a love relationship that seems unfamiliar, and a
bit scary.
Dineen and I are writing about love in December, and isn’t
it interesting that God has decided to teach me about what it’s really like to
be loved by my Daddy. He wants all of you to know what it feels like to be
loved by a Daddy. So in the next few posts, I’m going to share what it looks
like to me. How my love relationship is changing and how that’s impacting
everyone around me. It’s going to blow your mind because it’s blowing my mind.
So stop back on Friday, as I will tell you what I said to
our God when He asked me to call Him Daddy.
I wonder if you are in a place where you need to cross over
from the God who is stern, distant, absent, or uncaring. Do you want to call
Him Daddy?
I love you my friends. I really love you. Hugs, Lynn
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