Lynn here. I am so glad that several of you have applied to be guest authors. Joy, has written for SUM before. Today she is bringing another great article. Be encouraged. Hugs, Lynn
Joy: There are moments in life when we look around and wonder how we got here.
I’ve often questioned why I moved so far from home—away from everything familiar. I met my husband online, knowing the distance between us, and yet we chose to pursue the relationship. In truth, we had both just left traumatic marriages and likely should have given ourselves more time to heal. But we fell in love. Eventually, I moved to be with him, believing love would be enough to build something new.
Blending two broken families proved harder than either of us expected. Unresolved wounds surfaced quickly, and the weight of past trauma followed us into our marriage. What we hoped would feel like a fresh start often felt overwhelming. Marriage exposed the places in both of us that were still unhealed.
And then, in the middle of that darkness, I surrendered my life to Christ. My heart began to change—but that transformation left my marriage spiritually mismatched.
I found myself asking why. Why this marriage? Why this place? Why this isolation? Why, after leaving an abusive relationship, was I here again—fighting battles I never anticipated?
My mentor and friend encouraged me to read the book of Esther. At first, I didn’t see the connection. I prayed for understanding and began reflecting slowly, passage by passage.
Esther’s story doesn’t tell us how she felt, but when I paused to imagine her life, everything shifted. Orphaned. Far from home. Living in a land where her faith wasn’t practiced. Chosen into an arranged marriage to a king—likely without love, without a voice, without control. Isolated. Secluded. I can’t help but think she felt fear, loneliness, and grief. Yet God had placed her there for a purpose she could not yet see.
During my own trials, I wanted nothing more than for my husband to be saved. I felt alone carrying my faith in our home. That loneliness turned into intrusive thoughts—then anger. I questioned God. I stopped praying. I allowed the noise to consume me.
One night, trying to escape my thoughts, I put on a show. A line was spoken that stopped me in my tracks:
“Anger only hurts the person holding onto it. You can let it destroy you—or let it sustain you.”
It wasn’t a biblical show by any means — but God still used it. In that moment, I felt the Holy Spirit gently but firmly convict my heart. I turned it off, knelt down, and repented — not because my pain wasn’t real, but because I realized the anger I was holding onto wasn’t from God. It wasn’t protecting me or strengthening me. It was slowly hardening my heart, stealing my peace, and pulling my focus away from Him. I could feel the difference immediately — the weight of anger versus the quiet peace that comes when we surrender it to the Lord. God reminded me that while anger may feel justified in the moment, it does not lead to healing or freedom. Only He does.
Esther didn’t escape her circumstances. She didn’t demand answers. She trusted God within them. She stepped forward in faith, risking her life to save her people—believing God was in control even when the outcome was unknown.
“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
—Esther 4:14
God was in control of Esther’s life, just as He is in ours. We may not understand where He has placed us or why—but nothing is accidental. The enemy attacks hardest in seasons of exhaustion, isolation, and fear. But those are the very moments we must turn to God.
We may not always have the words. Sometimes all we can do is whisper, “Help me.” And that is enough.
God knows every thought we can’t articulate, every burden we carry silently. He is our refuge, our strength, and our companion in the waiting. The same God who sustained Esther sustains us still.
Be faithful. Be patient. Stay.
No matter how hopeless things feel, God is always at work – and He is not finished yet my dear friends.
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