Spiritually Unequal Marriage

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Easter Blues

Holidays can stir up turmoil in any marriage, but “religious” holidays can bring about huge conflict in a spiritual mismatch. Of all the holidays throughout the year, I think Easter…

1268385_easter_eggs__3 Holidays can stir up turmoil in any marriage, but “religious” holidays can bring about huge conflict in a spiritual mismatch. Of all the holidays throughout the year, I think Easter is the most awkward for my household. When my girls were little, we focused on Easter baskets and spending the morning together as a family. I worked around missing the Easter service by attending the Good Friday service with my daughters in tow.

But as they’ve have gotten older (20 and 16), Easter’s become less of an event and resembles most other Sundays. This breaks my heart because I know this is the whole reason we have to celebrate life! A saved life!

My oldest daughter has her own church now so she goes her own way. My youngest will most likely go with me if nothing else winds up planned. I guess the good side is that I’ve been able to go to Easter services the last couple years, but I find the day still falls kind of flat in meaning.

This year I’d like to prepare a little better and go into Easter with a plan, so I need your help. Do you struggle with Easter in your family? Got any ideas for this sister in Christ who has a touch of the Easter blues? What have you found that works for you and your family?

And thank you so much for sharing and helping me out! I’m really at a loss this year.
Praying and believing,
Dineen

Comments

13 responses

  1. Tamara Avatar
    Tamara

    hello dineen, is there something you and your Mike truly enjoy doing together that you could also do with a christian couple? this way…Mike could spend time with you and enjoy doing something, you can spend time with Mike and….another couple that shares your faith and that gives you strength and comfort in your heart on such a special day.
    example: Jack and I enjoy eating very good food and enough: grins. So we have been invited (you could invite someone) to a couples home on easter sunday for brunch. Jack knows these people are christians, they are my friends and his acquaintances. spelling?. we will enjoy the very good food and good company. we both know the conversation can turn to faith too – he is to that point that he listens. if your man doesnt want to touch the subject well, dont speak about faith, just live it out. we will have an easter service in the evenning – you could do lunch or dinnner if you go to church in the morning.
    I really dont know how you ladies feel but this is my belief: we are married to yet-unbelievers yes….but guess what? they are married to believers so……isnt it time that we gently tell our hubbies: honey, this is a part of me that I want you to share with me. You dont need to embrace Christ but please, embrace my friendships. In doing so, you touch my heart, thank you.
    If your man truly loves you, he shall jump over this fence, it really isnt too much to ask. If he isnt willing to jump, well, ask God for guidance. I dont know any farther. I personally have big questions where men say they love their wives but arent willing to touch a part of the wives-faith-fellowship. and on the other hand they expect their wives to share secular activities. maybe, just maybe it is time to show our hubbies in a mirror how things truly are. Jesus did this many many times to the pharisees.
    I truly wish you dear dineen and all of us a truly blessed easter. we could share what happended. for some an encouragement for some comfort and for others a testimony.
    hugs and in Christs love, Tamara

    Reply
  2. Megan@Homeschooling on the Run Avatar
    Megan@Homeschooling on the Run

    I don’t have much advice to offer, but I share your blues. Between hosting dinner, and my husband’s priorities (he will go to church with me, but only if we can swing it with his Ironman triathlon training, which is the substitute for the Lord in his life, atm), I have no idea how to fit it all in! I feel like waving my arms and shouting, “The Lord is RISEN, don’t you get it people???” I wish that was the biggest joy in all our family’s hearts. But everything else crowds in, and I’m stressing about menus, schedules and even just getting to church by myself, but most of all I am stressing because I just want to go to church as a family! My biggest prayer right now is to not be grumpy or too sad, and just spend the day praising the Lord wherever I am.

    Reply
  3. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Wow, this is a great post and I relate to both Tamara and Megan. Dineen, I think I really need to contemplate how to make this Easter different. It is likely my family will attend church but what can I do… at home to really celebrate the most important day in the year in the life of a believer? I am going to ask the Lord about this my friend. Hugging you.

    Reply
  4. Dineen Avatar
    Dineen

    Tamara, great idea. I think I’ll try and plan a dinner here at home. Maybe Rachel’s boyfriend’s parents can come. They’re Christians too. Very cool idea.
    Megan, I know what you mean. Great wisdom in your words too, to praise God wherever we are. Thank you!

    Reply
  5. Reegz Avatar
    Reegz

    Funny Dineen, I always say, the only two times I DON’T go to church are Easter and Christmas. It just feels like another Sunday in our house and it tends to bother me but I just pray through it and the Lord graciously gives me those “aha moments” that I am a chosen child of the Savior who died for me! I never ask my husband to go to church. When he goes I’m positive it’s the Lord alone doing the work. The way it needs to be. :o)

    Reply
  6. Denise Avatar
    Denise

    Praying for you dear.

    Reply
  7. Angela Avatar
    Angela

    Dineen, All I can say is worship the Lord with all your heart and seek him that day. What can you do for him to celebrate what he done for you.
    I was the same way…placing my children and husband first but the bottom line is they will let you down and as much as you love them they don’t decide where you spend eternity. I had to step up honor and serve the one who created me and would never let me down. My family noticed and they now have a new respect for me as a christian, wife, and mother. They all attend what ever celebration I choose to have for the Lord.
    All of those years raising my children I did all of the eggs, baskets and candy; The sunrise services, Church and killing myself to cook Easter dinner for about 30 people; But in all of that I managed to push aside the Lord, But now he is first…
    Seek to please him. My prayers are with you as you journey through a new stage of your life…My children are grown…now what?
    Prayers and Hugs,
    Angela

    Reply
  8. ~Donna Avatar
    ~Donna

    Hello Ladies..
    As I read down through the posts and comments..I see a little bit of me in all of you! I think the one thing the LORD has taught me is to “lose the expectations” that I had come to place on my husband..trying to enforce a principle that he needed to share in “at least” a small portion of fellowship regarding these special “holidays”. To me…each and every day is a special day unto the LORD…and I have learned, Only Jesus can replace my “blues” with HIS joy…otherwise, my days just seem to ebb & flow with the tides of my emotional responses to all the “rejection” and division.
    All I can say ladies, in all heartfelt encouragement…is lift your eyes to the heavens and “REJOICE” in these times and allow Jesus to fill each of us with the unexpressable JOY that is lasting and unwavering. That is what HE wants our husbands and other unbelievers to see.. Steadiness and ongoing JOY…regardless of their stubborn, hardheartedness towards all that HE wants them to have.
    It will only be the Holy Spirit that will lift the veil of darkness that has blinded their hearts.
    It is only the “light of Jesus” shining through our lives of tender mercy and grace that will illuminate their hearts to want to know Jesus too.
    God has shown me not to be offended and not to trust my feeling to my husband.
    This is also something else the LORD taught me.. When my husband rejects me…there will always be a response. When a husband rejects what is important to us…it feels like betrayal..
    There is never a NON-Response. I will either get hurt and express that disappointment with anger..
    OR
    I will be hurt and although grieved, I will honor God by refraining from having to express my opinions…thus allowing the “Christ in ME” to continue to reflect love.
    We are to LOVE our Husbands
    We are to TRUST God alone
    Trust betrayed produces anger
    Love betrayed produces grief
    This has been a guage the LORD as used to help me understand if I’m truly loving my husband in a situation or trusting my feelings to HIM. READ PSALM 118:8..the very center Chapter & verse of the Holy Bible. “Do not place your confidence in man…Trust in ME alone’
    We just need to celebrate the RISEN CHRIST this East….be ever thankful and grateful for the special times throughout the year that help us to remember how wonderful our Savior really is! After all it is all about HIM!
    Ladies…lets just allow Jesus to turn our “mourning” into Dancing!
    Would anyone care to dance?? Go ahead..get up right now…kick off your shoes and dance and praise HIM! lol
    love to you all!
    In His Grace,
    Donna

    Reply
  9. Barbara Avatar
    Barbara

    I know that in each situation, you have to do what works…but for me…Easter is Easter and so that includes Easter Sunday morning service. Each year I try to plan with my children and invite everyone (yes, everyone) to attend service with me and back to my house for lunch and an egg hunt with the grandkids. One daughter and her family attend church at our church. Most times my other daughter and family will go and lo and behold, sometimes He will go..it just depends..but it doesn’t change the plan. That may not work for you…but it usually works out okay for us.

    Reply
  10. Kathryn Frazier Avatar
    Kathryn Frazier

    Plan to meet with your daughter or Christian friends for a little observance the day before or after Easter.
    Spruce up your house. Clean the windows (OK, just in the living room), open the curtains, and enjoy the sunshine. Put flowers on the table, or add some other Springtime symbol.
    Buy something new and pretty to wear, even if it’s only nail polish or a barrette. Save it for Easter morning.
    SING! God inhabits the praises of His people.
    Plan a Springtime activity–like gardening, biking, or picnicking–with your hubby after church. Make it something fun that you will both look forward to.
    Color Easter eggs with your husband on Saturday (I know the kids are grown. You don’t have to hide the eggs.). While you color eggs, talk about good Easter memories that you share. You don’t have to hide them.

    Reply
  11. Nicole Neri Avatar
    Nicole Neri

    You girls are so sweet:)

    Reply
  12. Tracey, In Word Adorning Avatar
    Tracey, In Word Adorning

    When all else fails, research the orgins of our Easter(Ashtoreth)traditions. Although we attach spiritual significance to these traditions – God be Praised – He does not. Search His word: can you find the eggs, candy, and new clothes?
    He is risen for sure, and He lives! But don’t mourn this day, instead choose peace. Your worship is your obidence to His words and commands. Your worship is your faith in Him and your commitment to your wait on your husband. Your worship and celebration of His resurrection is allowing Him to live AND REIGN in your heart.
    Sarah, Abigail, Esther – my favorite Bible Sheroes – none of them colored eggs, made baskets or dressed up to go the high places at sunrise. But they were commended by God for their faith.

    Reply
  13. Dineen Avatar
    Dineen

    Thank you, ladies. All of your comments have given me such precious tidbits of wisdom. I’m looking forward to going to church service in the morning, then enjoying a nice dinner with friends and family that afternoon, just to mark the day with love and friendship. I love that all of you shared the main message of God seeing our hearts. Thank you! Love you all!

    Reply

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