I think this area of conflict and boundaries in marriage hit a nerve with many of you. The comments left on previous posts are amazing and vulnerable. Many of you have offered your perspective with what is working in your marriage. The reading suggestions are great and if someone truly wants help in this area, the resources you mentioned are excellent.
I also received many private emails through out this series and you have shared your wisdom on this subject and your suggestions have proven helpful. Thank you for taking time to share with me how God is working in your life.
Conflict often brings us to a place of change. God is all about change. If you are breathing….. He is about changing you. Amazing.
As I wrap up this series, I want to share a few tidbits of wisdom that came from one of our long-time, regular readers. I love being part of this community. We care for one another. Offer support and love. We pray, pray, and pray some more for those of you in pain. Mostly we help and encourage each other as we take a step each day toward heaven.
Okay, some great tips to turn conflict from negative to positive.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it meanly. Sounds good right?
Here's more: Avoid blaming, accusatory “You” statements.
Compare the following statements: You never tell me things. Versus I need the information.
“I” statements are usually assertive statements. “You” statements are often aggressive statements. “You” statements encourage blame and generalizations. “I” statements will encourage you to keep the emphasis on yourself. Remember, “You” statements can put people on the defensive.
You always say mean things. Versus I’m offended by that comment.
“You” statements are often accompanied by negative words. Negative words put people on the defensive. “You” failed to meet the deadline. “You” neglected your chores. Versus Deadlines need to be met. I need your help putting the kids to the bed.
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You have heard the old adage, It all in how you say it… It's true. Our calling is to model 1 Corinthians 13… Love is kind…… Be blessed, Lynn
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