Marriage is one of the greatest gifts God has given to people. It is a strange and marvelous mystery where two individuals join and become one.
Ephesians 5:31-32 (New International Version)
31″For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery…
Marriage is all about love. The word, love, has become so all encompassing it has lost its power as applied to marriage. Married love described in scripture is a genuine, all-of-your-heart love.
1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
So where does submission come into the love equation? What is Biblical submission and what is it not? Truthful and Godly answers to these questions are what I hope we discover through the Marriage Monday posts.
Ephesians 5:23-25 (New International Version)
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
It all begins with choices. We choose our mate. We choose to love, we choose to allow freedoms, and we choose to be responsible. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend in their book,
Boundaries In Marriage
, say this, “When two people are free to disagree, they are free to love. When they are not free, they live in fear, and love dies.”
1 John 4:18 (New International Version)
18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
In my acquaintances with Christian wives I have discovered many believe submission is denying their own feelings, beliefs, and desires and giving control of their lives over to their husbands. They do this by stuffing down their convictions and force themselves to conform to their spouses desires.
There is a time when we as believers need to follow our husbands even if we disagree. However, following in this manner must be a mutual decision made with your entire heart and with the knowledge that it is best for the marriage and will allow love to grow.
In my marriage, I have never been able to fake submission. I have to believe that bending my will to my husband’s is the right thing to do. My submission to him may come with much discussion, sometimes arguments but it is always genuine and without fear. 
We live within the boundaries of mutual respect which is manifested through our character. We have learned to use and respect the word no. It is learning to be responsible for ourselves, maturing our respect for one another. This is honest and Godly submission. This kind of submission grows our love, drawing us closer together.
I have so much more I could write, perhaps another day. Have a blessed day and rejoice you are married. It is a gift from God. Be Blessed, Lynn
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