One thing I love about our 1Peter3Living group is our willingness to tackle sensitive issues in marriage. Today we are discussing a touchy subject to be sure. I thought I would share it here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. Does the length of a woman’s hair matter in marriage?
Believe it or not, like it or not, fair or not, the issue of hair length matters, A LOT! I think what we need to clarify is that the length of hair is not so much a spiritual issue but a gender issue.
Women consider hair their personal property. After all, we are adults and should be able to choose the style we wish to wear. Makes sense to me.
So why does it matter to a man the length his wive’s hair? What we need to remember is God created men visual. One of the five most important needs of a man is an attractive spouse. This is not my opinion but the opinion of renowned Christian clinical psychologist, Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. Also, the psychologist I work with at Spiritually Unequal Marriage, Rebecca Saville.
Here is an excerpt from Dr. Harley’s book: Dr. Harley points out the woman was once attractive but has become lazy. After the marriage vows, she lets herself go. With this said, Dr. Harley simply states: a woman should take pains to look something like the woman her husband married. When a man’s wife looks good, he feels good.
Now I don’t want to hurt any feelings. The length of hair may not matter to many husbands but often it does.
Is it fair that men have this need or desire? Perhaps not but it is the way God created men. Is it fair that women have the need to speak 5,000 words a day minimum and our men must listen, perhaps not? It is what it is. If this need is real in your husband, why not give him the gift of longer hair?
When I realized the five basic needs of my husband and began to meet them, he began to meet some of my needs. It is a miracle.
Last summer I reviewed Dr. Harley’s book, His Needs, Her Needs. You can read about the five needs of men and women here (click). Or, please read this book, His Needs, Her Needs. It will help you understand the gender differences and the needs of your spouse. It also helped me understand myself better.
Have a blessed day. Merry CHRISTmas. Lynn
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