This has been one of those seasons in my life where I just don’t get it. ‘Rosheeda quit.’
Not knowing how I was supposed to live, I quit.
My man… ‘Walk Away.’ In love and absolutely miserable without him, I walked away.
‘Rosheeda, go back.’
‘Lord, seriously. Four months ago You told me to leave. ‘
‘Rosheeda, go back. He is My Will.’
‘But Lord…’
‘Trust Me. Because of his love for you, he will learn to love Me.’
Unsure and all, I made that phone call the very next day… Three years later, he is still my man, we are more in love than ever before and marriage is just around the corner. God has done what He promised and more. I look at my man and I see God’s love for me. I look into his eyes and I sense a growing love for my Jesus. He’s no longer content w/salvation. He’s growing and learning to pursue sanctification…
Looking for a job
‘Lord I need a job.’
‘I am He who supplies all your needs.’
‘Wait on Me.’
‘In My time I will provide the job I have for you. Wait.’
… and so. For months I waited. And in the process lost all that I owned. My car. My apartment. And all my belongings. I don’t even have pictures. All I have is what I took back with me to my parents’ home. Literally.
‘Rosheeda go look at houses.’
‘And buy one with what, exactly? Since I have no job.’
‘Do as I say.’
… and off to look at houses, I go. I see one that I like. The man there is the owner and they are working. On the 4th of July 2007. We make plans to talk and to get together to finalize this house. I cannot buy it, but he will lease it to me and let me purchase at the end of the lease. I go to his office to finalize this transaction and HE OFFERS ME A JOB – ON THE SPOT. The house … didn’t pan out. The job… I’ve been here almost two years…
He has been faithful to provide, when I didn’t have anything to eat or any way to go buy groceries.
He has been faithful to protect me when emotionally I was ready to just give up on life.
He has been faithful to comfort me when people have disappointed me.
He has been faithful to be my shelter, my refuge, my strong tower in the time of trouble.
And the list goes on.
I cannot say that God has been a genie in a bottle for me. I cannot tell you that He has done all I thought He would do, just like I thought He should do it. But what I CAN say is that He has done exactly what He said He would do.
I wish I could tell you that God has given me all I lost back and then some, but that hasn’t happened just yet… In some ways, I’m still waiting; but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has been faithful to me.
It is not in the prosperous place that you learn what that means, but in the dark places. Because it is only in those places that you recognize your absolute frailty and need of Him. You realize that but by His Hand, you’d be utterly lost.
And the real beauty is that I’ve gotten to know Him better through all the hard places. He and I, we have a special relationship and I know that I can trust Him like I trust my best friend- except more. He is who He says. All the promises of His heart, all the promises of His word, He will honor. He wants nothing more than to show off for you. He delights in us. It is His pleasure to be known intimately and to love (and be loved) extravagantly.
His faithfulness is a promise to us. He’s faithful whether we are or not. Not because He HAS to be, but because He WANTS to be. Just because He loves you. If you will get to know His love, you will also know His faithful heart. Pursue it. Chase it down. I promise, when you discover how beautiful it is, you will never be the same.
Guest writer, Rosheeda Lee, is 31 years old and reside in Duncanville, Texas. She is employed at a real-estate development company as an Office Manager. In addition, she serves on the Board of Directors for a fledgling non-profit. Rosheeda attends Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, a non-denominational church in Dallas, Texas. Currently she is not yet married, but will be soon to the man she knows God has created specifically for her and she will be mother to two exceptional young men.
Rosheeda is also active as part of leadership for our youth choir. She says “The Lord has really begun to cultivate in me a heart and a passion for women and relationships. It is my desire to eventually write and share with other women the beauty of the hearts God has given specifically to us.”
You can find Rosheeda at her personal blog, Beauty for Ashes. Her life verse: 1 Peter 1:8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.
Thank you, Rosheeda, for sharing your heart here at Spiritually Unequal Marriage. God bless, Lynn
Leave a Reply