Spiritually Unequal Marriage

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Still an Atheist?

Something interesting happened last week. My youngest daughter and my husband were watching a TV show featuring Penn Jillette. My daughter explained how Jillette spoke of his atheism as not…

1009935_question_con_3 Something interesting happened last week. My youngest daughter and my husband were watching a TV show featuring Penn Jillette. My daughter explained how Jillette spoke of his atheism as not knowing if God existed-not a surety that He didn’t. She asked her dad if that’s whet he believed.

He said yes. He just didn’t know.

I confess, I didn’t know what to make of that. I still don’t. I wasn’t there to hear the conversation first hand, so I could ask more questions. And something in my gut says to leave it alone for now.

But I keep asking myself (and God for that matter) if that means he’s not an atheist anymore. Atheism is the rejecting of the belief in the divine. Atheists do not believe that a higher power, so to speak, exists. Agnostics, however, believe the existence of a God (or any other form of a higher power) is unknown.

So, is he still an atheist, or is he now agnostic?

I just don't know.

This has been my journey since my daughter told me about this. I started praying for guidance and wisdom naturally, but also for guidance on how to pray for my husband. Did this shift of belief (if that’s truly what it is) warrant a change in how I prayed for him?

A few days later I came to this verse in 1 Corinthians 2. Paul is speaking about a person’s thoughts being known only to the spirit within them. He also explains how a person without the Spirit cannot accept the things that come from the Spirit of God. He then finishes the chapter with this:

But we have the mind of Christ.

As I read this verse, I believe God showed me that I had been praying for my husband’s heart, which is good. But my husband is a deeply intellectual and logical man. The true battleground is his mind. God was telling me to pray for my husband to have the mind of Christ.

Honestly, I still don’t know what to make of this. And I’m beginning to see that God probably planned it that way-that I not be there. I would have overanalyzed (more than I am now) and questioned instead of trusting that God is in control.

Praying and believing,
Dineen

Comments

27 responses

  1. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    Dineen,
    He is on a journey. Keep praying…. the mind of Christ… I’m praying it too. Hugs.

    Reply
  2. Debra Avatar
    Debra

    Woohoo Dineen! You are right in your understanding. Once I realized that Mike truly didn’t know if there was a God or not, I had to change my prayers, too. I prayed that he would gain understanding because the mind is truly the battleground. My Mike likes to reason things out, too and he wanted conclusive proofs that I wasn’t able to give him. Allow God to do His work within the mind and heart. Salvation is coming to your household! Declare it!

    Reply
  3. debra Avatar
    debra

    Also, God sees him in a different way than you do. Be wary of labeling him with names that man has made. Give him the names that God would have named him…priest, saved, Christian….

    Reply
  4. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    Yes – this is encouraging! The Lord is turning his heart and thoughts heavenward! PTL!

    Reply
  5. Brooke Avatar
    Brooke

    what he labels himself doesn’t matter so much as the condition of his heart – it’d be difficult to not get encouraged by his willingness to admit that there might be a higher power. God knows his heart. You know to pray for God to do the work he needs. Sounds like everyone has all the information necessary. {{{big hugs}}}

    Reply
  6. Allison Avatar
    Allison

    EEEK! I get so excited sometimes when I read your posts and they parallel, especially my prayers.
    Last week, I TOO realized under the prompting of the Holy Spirit that I should be praying over my husband’s mind as well!
    He gave me these verses: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
    AND
    “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
    I’m praying these over my husband now.

    Reply
  7. Denille Avatar
    Denille

    Hi Dineen,
    My husband told me he was an atheist as well. But after talking to him more I believe he is an agnostic. He just “doesn’t know”. To me it sounds like this might be the case with your husband as well. It does help our hearts and give us hope that our husbands aren’t closed minded to it. So hooray for you learning this new information to give you more hope then you already had. They are just so confused because they think so logical and my husband really struggles with “if there is a God, how do I know which God is correct?” Of course he knows my beliefs but it still isn’t enough for him. But THANK YOU for this “God was telling me to pray for my husband to have the mind of Christ.” I have also been praying for my husbands heart and his thinking. But I will also change my prayers and ask God to give my husband the mind of Christ. THANK YOU for sharing.
    Denille

    Reply
  8. becky Avatar
    becky

    What great timing! I usually don’t have time during my day to read to many of the posts, but….today this one caught my eye. My husband is extremely intelligent and logical. He believes there is a God, but that is about as far as it goes. So knowing how to pray for him has been a challenge, thank you for the insight. I can now pray that he has a mind like Christ. I also agree we should try not to label them. This website has been a true saving grace for me. Thank you all.
    Sisters in Christ,
    Becky

    Reply
  9. Lori Avatar
    Lori

    Thank you, Dineen, for the post and for sharing your heart. My situation is not as extreme as your marriage, but as I had been praying for his heart, I will also pray for his mind, as well. I am 3/4 through your book and it is life changing! Thank you both for taking the time to write it and to express your struggles for those of us who struggle as well. Maybe we struggle more with controlling our environment (and others around us), but letting go helps us to focus on what we should be focusing on; Jesus, and not saving others. That’s HIS job.
    God bless,
    Lori

    Reply
  10. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Amen, Lori! Girl, thank you so much for your comment. You have blessed us both richly today. Thank you, my friend! 🙂

    Reply
  11. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Great point, Debra. Thank you! I will seek God to know the name He wants me to call my husband. Love that! 🙂

    Reply
  12. Martha Bush Avatar
    Martha Bush

    This is all very interesting reading. My husband calls himself an agnostic. I call him “Paul” as in the Apostle Paul. (Not to his face, of course.) I believe I know him well enough to know that as strongly as he has tried to analyze and even condemn the faith, he will be just as strong to proclaim the gospel upon his conversion. Dineen, I like the idea of praying the mind of Christ. Thank you.

    Reply
  13. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Hugging you, Dee! 🙂

    Reply
  14. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    LOL! That’s perfect, Brooke. You are so right. 🙂

    Reply
  15. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Allison, I love your enthusiasm, girl! And love those Scriptures. I will add them to my list too. 🙂

    Reply
  16. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    My pleasure, Denille. And thank you for sharing the part about your husband struggling about which God is correct. I hadn’t thought of that. Glad we’re on this journey together! 🙂

    Reply
  17. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    So glad you stopped by, Becky! Hugs!

    Reply
  18. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Oh Martha, girl, I just want to hug you! I feel the same about my husband. Though I’ve never called him a Paul (wink), I’ve prayed that when he does embrace Christ that he do so with the same fervency and passion. Always love reading your comments, my friend. 🙂

    Reply
  19. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    So glad we’re walking this together, girl. Love you!

    Reply
  20. tamara Avatar
    tamara

    Hello Dineen, this is wonderful news! change is happening! I would like to put out there: we spouses from still-not-yet-saved-spouses: snyss – worry too much on what to pray for. I would like to hug you soooo tightly and say: God knows what our spouses need, He isnt so picky like we are, He understands what we mean, He knows exactly what Mike needs to come to repentance. I am experiencing that so strongly with Jack. Jack really needed to understand what repantance is: that he needs to turn around from sin, ask for forgiveness and proclaim Jesus Christ as his Lord. Now Jack has heard it. I know it. that is something I received from the Holy Spirit. I dont know what he still needs but I do know one thing: he needs to submit 100%. So I pray: thank you Lord from giving Jack grace to repent and be born again, thank you that you wont let him out of your hand. I dont worry about what I should pray anymore. God knows and He will iron out all my wrinkles. be richly blessed dear and wonderful servant of Christ, Dineen! loving greetings, tamara

    Reply
  21. Polly Avatar
    Polly

    Thank you Dineen for posting this about the mind of Christ. I have never prayed that way and I will. It sure does open up a new way to pray for our husbands and unsaved loved ones. I really believe not trying to control situations is hard ,too. I am working on it and trying to trust the Lord in situations. Again , thank you so much. God bless you and Lynn. Polly

    Reply
  22. Loli Avatar
    Loli

    Jeremiah 17:9
    “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? ”
    In your case, good is to know about your husband’s need to change his mind. In my case, it’s TOTALLY the opposite. My husband is sinning right because he is only being guided by what he feels in his heart…otherwise he wouldn’t be acting and doing what he is doing AT ALL. I’m grieving with this so much…because as Jeremiah said “the heart is deceitful above all things”, and I feel so helpless as these type of deceit is much more difficult to fight against that deceit in our minds. I might perhaps know what to say and do to my husband if his sin would be actually a problem in his mind, but I do not know what to say and do to get to penetrate lovingly into his heart and make him change….yeah okay, again trying to think things I can do myself instead of letting it all in God hands…Is there anything you, dear God, could show me I can say and do to my husband so at least I feel I am doing something??? Thanks in Jesus name.
    In any case, I agree with Tamara: even when we do not pray specifically, God DOES know what we actually have in our hearts and minds, He does know what are our inner needs, either ours as believing spouses, and ALSO the needs of our husbands/wives, even when we might not express it correctly in our prayers.

    Reply
  23. Debbie Avatar
    Debbie

    I agree with Tamara. Only God can draw a person to Himself through His Spirit. I pray that my husband’s heart would be prepared by the Lord. I also pray that He would give me the words to speak if and when He prompts me. But you’re so right. The mind is a powerful thing and so many external influences are vying for attention. My husband is very intelligent and tries to understand. But only when we submit and receive the gift God offers will we be able to have the mind of Christ.
    Thanks for writing this one.
    Blessings and love,
    Debbie

    Reply
  24. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    You are right, Tamara. And what a relief to know it’s not so dependent on our prayers. I think God does this more for us. The prayer journey is His way of including us in what He is doing. And I also think He uses it to mold us as well, to prepare us to be the wife we need to be when our husband finally steps into faith.
    Amazingly, this journey can look so different for each of us, yet be very much the same. If that makes any sense. Hard to put into words. Hugging you, my friend!

    Reply
  25. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Amen, Polly. We are not in control. But we get to part of the process. And God works on us too. LOL! Hugs!

    Reply
  26. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Loli, I just ache for you, my friend. I’m praying for you and David. You may not see God’s work but I see it in your comments here and your emails. God has you on this amazing road of faith and drawing you near to Him. Keep trusting Him with your heart and David’s too. I’m praying for God’s conviction in David’s life too. We serve a gentle God who convicts with love and grace. In this process we are restored and find peace. 🙂

    Reply
  27. Dineen Miller Avatar
    Dineen Miller

    Hi Debbie,
    You comment reminded me of how God impressed upon me to pray for my husband as if he already believed. Perhaps this prayer for him to have the mind of Christ is part of that direction. Thank you, my friend! 🙂

    Reply

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