I have to tell you that this first part of this challenge, God really put me to task. I discovered it is monumentally difficult, at least for me, to change speech patterns that are decades old. What is hilarious to me is that concurrent to working through this challenge, I am also facilitating a Bible study at church entitled, Conversation Peace, The Power of Transformed Speech.
This study and the road map of Out-loving your spouse are parallel in motion. Go figure. God really wants me to “get this.”
I am.
Truly, I have made progress after much learning, much surrender, much apologizing, and a humbling of my pride.
Mercy!
Today it’s time to move our challenge forward to the next step.
Words of affirmation.
If you remember the video, Shelly Weaver, shared the steps of her challenge and the next step is to be purposeful to say words to our spouse that are affirming. Shelly shared that she struggled to say, “I love you.” I thought it was brave and vulnerable of her to share that these, even simple affirming phrases were a struggle. And if you are in a rocky or challenging season of marriage, it may taste like vinegar rolling off your tongue to speak them to your spouse.
This challenge is going to be especially difficult but I promise the rewards of this challenge are waiting.
Shelly began to say kind things to her husband. She thanked him for what she felt were ordinary, expected, things that he did, such as mowing the lawn. I love you was spoken with frequency and she acknowledged him.
Shelly said, “I began to appreciate and thank him for things that you take for granted or that you expect them to do on a regular basis.”
Here are some thoughts to get you started:
- You look handsome today.
- I love you for the way you laugh.
- Thank you for handling the garbage.
- Thanks for helping out with driving little Joey to soccer.
- You still rock my world.
- I would walk through fire for you. (I said this recently to my husband and he looked like deer in headlights for a second. When he recovered, he looked gently at me and said, “Thank you Sweetie.”)
- I so appreciate how you set a great example for our kids by ________.
- That was a great Daddy moment (Catch him in the moment of play, reading, talking with one of the kids).
Okay there are more words of affirmation here. We want to add to the list. So, PLEASE, if you have some affirming words and/or phrases, share them in the comments. We need to help one another.
I’m looking forward to what this challenge brings in the week ahead. I promise I plan to explain what happens when we stick with these challenges. Big things can happen. Stay tuned and now go share some of Christ’s love with your man and your family. Hugs, Lynn
If you need to hear Shelly's story again, listen in.
Out-Love your Spouse from The Intentional Marriage on Vimeo.
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