Spiritually Unequal Marriage

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Marriage Challenge No. 1

So, I’ve been inspired by a friend of mine Courtney Joseph who has a new book coming out, Women Living Well. I will share more about that later. It’s a…

So, I’ve been inspired by a friend of mine Courtney Joseph
who has a new book coming out, Women Living Well. I will share more about that
later. It’s a really great book. I was privileged to read it before its release
and she has a couple of chapters that are Marriage Challenges. 

One of the challenges is a kissing challenge. Okay, for many
of us who have been married a number of years there are statistics out there
that indicate that 40% of married couples will go an entire week without a
kiss. I’m not sure about this but I do think that as we settle into marriage,
are raising children, working and become increasingly busy and distracted, we
miss the opportunity to connect with our spouse through an intimate kiss.
Yikes, I know this is true in my case. 

CoupkSo, this week, I’m throwing down the gauntlet. It is your
challenge to kiss your spouse on the lips for five seconds or longer, every….
single ….. day this week. 

I can bet some spouses are going to freak out. Some may be
put out but I am hopeful that this small gesture releases a gentle, kind and
loving spark in your relationship with your spouse. 

Okay, take the challenge and pop back in here and let me
know how it went for you today? 

SUMNation: Practical help and encouragement to THRIVE in
your Spiritual Mismatched Marriage. 

Dineen and I love you. Have a fun and playful week. Break
out the lip gloss and pucker up. *grin*

Comments

37 responses

  1. Teresa T Avatar
    Teresa T

    Easy peasey. I hope you aren’t suggesting that we cut back on kissing. 😉

    Reply
  2. Deborah Avatar
    Deborah

    Hmmm…need to find a modification since we are seperated. I don’t know how well he would handle me doing that lol!!!

    Reply
  3. Carmen M Avatar
    Carmen M

    I’m in the same boat as Deborah…I personally haven’t heard from my husband in 2 weeks, this might be a little hard. Maybe an extra prayer for our husbands? Or send him an air kiss? (LOL)
    Praying for my sisters that do have their husbands by their side, I pray that they will be blessed by this challenge, that their husbands will feel their wives love in a whole new way. Let the smooching commence!!

    Reply
  4. Deborah Avatar
    Deborah

    Haha Carmen love it “air kisses”!!! Amen…I pray husbands will be plesently surprised and hearts will be softened.

    Reply
  5. Gillian Avatar
    Gillian

    He he, these challenges are like a mini love dare for us, love it!

    Reply
  6. Dawn Avatar
    Dawn

    Sounds fun! I’ll dream of the day I get to do this again – hopefully soon 🙂

    Reply
  7. Heather Passuello Avatar
    Heather Passuello

    Challenge accepted! I will let you know the reaction since my man doesn’t care for kissing unless he’s done something to upset me 😉

    Reply
  8. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    Practical, fun suggestion. I will try this out!

    Reply
  9. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    I haven’t kissed my husband since Aug 5th when he told me that he was considering to pursue a divorce…I have left things in God’s hand now…I have tried many times in the past to make our marriage better. Even tried more than just kissing… I gave him sexual intimacy a few times a week thinking this would change his heart 🙂 It’s all in God’s hands now…all I can do is pray and be on my way doing my Father’s business.

    Reply
  10. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    Sorry…don’t mean to be a party pooper…my situation is a little different perhaps…I say go for it ladies…I gave it a try perhaps your man will react differently ;o)

    Reply
  11. tamara Avatar
    tamara

    okk – I will do it – and post next monday what happened

    Reply
  12. Teresa T Avatar
    Teresa T

    Lisa, we are authentic here. You are being transparent. I just wish for you that your situation were different. Sending a prayer of comfort.

    Reply
  13. Valerie Avatar
    Valerie

    Father God, I lift up Lisa, Deborah, Carmen, myself, and our husbands to you. I ask You to heal our hearts of any and all hutshurts. We have all tried many things to reach the hearts of our husbands only to be rejected. Cut out the bitterness, Lloyd, in our hearts and in our husbands’ hearts, and fill it with Your Holy Spirit. Teach us to guard our hearts and still love these men with Your love. Love that is pure, holy, and healthy. In Your precious name I pray, Lord Jesus, because yes, Lord, in Your name, Jesus, there is power!

    Reply
  14. Valerie Avatar
    Valerie

    Lol – should have previewed before I posted:-) Heal our hearts of hurts, LORD (not Lloyd;-)

    Reply
  15. paula Avatar
    paula

    will accept the challenge and bring it to my small group I am leading this week and challenge them as well!

    Reply
  16. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    I LOVE this challenge! I also really love that we can all be supported through comments and like Theresa said ‘be transparent’. To all those whose marriage is in the throes of separation and you are holding on just barely- I have been there! 1 Peter 5 says ‘humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.’ I pray that today gives you strength and encouragement. I pray that you look at this challenge as air-kisses, or as a challenge to tuck in your back pocket and bring out when indeed God has restored your marriage. I know it’s so hard to hope and wish and be on your knees continually to cover your wayward husband in prayer. I pray that you all have courage and strength and that Christ uses this time away to bring you closer to Him while you wait on The Lord. My husband,who suffers with addictions, did return. I cannot say its now perfect, nor is he a believer, but he is back in our home by the glory of God. Thank you Jesus!! I hope you all are seeking counseling a your churches, or Christian counselors in your area. The book, Love Must Be Tough also helped me. Lord, let our sisters rejoice that they participate in the sufferings of Christ so that they may be overjoyed when your glory is revealed in Your time. Let them seek you minute by minute to get them through their next trial. Lord, we love you and we are so grateful for this ministry not bring us together and show support. Please continue to bless us all and we will bask in your light of love. You are magnificent Jesus!

    Reply
  17. Stacy DeMorrow Avatar
    Stacy DeMorrow

    I love these challenges and I love this community. I have been married to my unbelieving spouse for 2 years and have felt alone and had no one who understands. I am so blessed to find people who can encourage me! God bless this community and I can’t wait to keep connected with you.
    Stacy

    Reply
  18. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    So Yep, I have a terrible cold. My hubby says he will kiss me from a distance. Geeze… What irony. Hope all of you are smakin’ some lips. I love you Family of SUM… I’m heading off for my walk n pray and I will be praying for God to move in such power and love in your life today that you are left breathless. Hugging you tight. Lynn

    Reply
  19. GeGe Avatar
    GeGe

    Thank you Heather for the wisdom God has blessed you with & the comfort God has brought you. I hear your heart. Amen
    Love to all SUMite families

    Reply
  20. Esi Avatar
    Esi

    Oh..God really knows how to change a vengeful course. My husband and I are away in a very nice location attending a scientific conference. What should be a second honeymoon with a bit of fun work has turned out to be far from that. To start our luggage didn’t arrive for two days. No problem we were wise enough to carry a couple of rounds of clothing in our hand luggage. I am not sure what happened along the way, may be stress or something else but my husband and I have had tiffs on and off since we got here and are now just speaking pleasantries to each other and just earlier on today I had resolved to keep things icy until he at least apologises for some of the things he has been saying to me. Then I check email and see this post and I sense the Holy Spirit poking me to go for it..arrrrrgh…sometimes you just want to punish your spouse and God interferes..I guess I have no choice but to obey but I will at least finish my tea first. Thanks Lynn my heart has softened. I am praying with my SUMITE sisters who have challenges putting this post into practice. Our God is a restorer and I pray restoration of all lost moments with your spouses Amen.

    Reply
  21. Rosemarie Avatar
    Rosemarie

    I have to say, “wow” and in response to Lisa I am where she’s at. I can’t get excited about this challenge because I’ve been rejected so much that this is such a risk for me. We are on speaking terms and all is quiet for now but more than that, I’m not ready.

    Reply
  22. Valerie Avatar
    Valerie

    My husband and I are not separated, but things are icy. I.E. He chooses not to talk to me when I disagree with him (I’m talking simply a matter of differing opinions) and when he does talk to me it’s not from a place of love. Against my fleshly will I decided to try this. As a way to protect my own heart, I kissed him in a playful way today. Helped my lips to his and counted to 5. He wasn’t overjoyed but he wasn’t mad. Just his norm – giving the indication that I’m an oddity to him. Oh well, one down, four to go. Interested to see how this will play out.

    Reply
  23. Pat Avatar
    Pat

    Great challenge thank you Lynn, something I know is needed in our marriage right now. Love u all 🙂

    Reply
  24. Teresa T Avatar
    Teresa T

    That is beautiful, Valarie. Praying the same.

    Reply
  25. Teresa T Avatar
    Teresa T

    You show Spirit filled courage. Have fun with it.

    Reply
  26. Heidi Avatar
    Heidi

    Im feeling a bit apprehensive about this too for all of the above reasons, but Im thinking this just may be one of those times God just may be asking for a leap of faith and trust to see whats next. Waiting for hubby to come home from the bar for dinner, so this ones for the team “Im a going in girls, lips a puckered” oh Lord help me.

    Reply
  27. Teresa T Avatar
    Teresa T

    Yeah, team Hedi! Go, girl.

    Reply
  28. Valerie Avatar
    Valerie

    Thanks for the encouragement, Teresa!

    Reply
  29. Carmen M Avatar
    Carmen M

    Thank you for this beautiful prayer Valerie. I am sad to know we are all facing similar circumstances, but our circumstances do not dictate who we are!! We are His princesses, His treasure, we are HIS!!!
    I am thankful to our Lord for His grace, Mercy and Love. Lord, be our husband, Holy Spirit restore our hearts and teach us to rely only on You!! We love you Abba!
    Praying for you sisters!

    Reply
  30. Carmen M Avatar
    Carmen M

    Thank you Heather for your prayer and encouragement. Praying for the Holy Spirit to invade your husbands heart and transform him from the inside out.
    Love ya sis!

    Reply
  31. Carmen M Avatar
    Carmen M

    Sweet Lisa, thank you for sharing your heart with us. Please do not apologize for sharing your grief with us. Upon posting on the demise of my marriage, I was comforted and encouraged by many in our SUMmite family, and I soon realized that I was not the only one going through this and most importantly, I was not alone. Jesus is right there with us. And He loves us sooo much. I encourage you to ask The Lord to shower you with His love, and then stand back and just look….He is awesome. He will bring you smiles and fill you with joy with little things only He can bring your way.

    Reply
  32. Carmen M Avatar
    Carmen M

    Praying for you Valerie! Smooch away girl! ??

    Reply
  33. Gillian Avatar
    Gillian

    I agree, you go girl!!

    Reply
  34. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    Thanks Teresa…Hugs 🙂

    Reply
  35. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    Thanks for these words of encouragement Carmen… I bask in HIS Love each day… the joy of the Lord is my strength….don’t know where I would today be without HIM 🙂

    Reply
  36. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    Thanks Valerie…God bless you!!

    Reply
  37. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    God bless you Rosemarie… The Lord really set me free a few months back when I read and internalized 1 Cor 7:13-15:
    “And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
    I am now a full out God pleaser and have never had more peace in my heart. I am leaving the rest in God’s hands 🙂

    Reply

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